Wow, January Jones Sucked

I love me some Betty Draper, what a great character and so well acted. And guess what, January Jones should get an Emmy this year. What she shouldn't get, is another chance to ever appear on live TV trying to be funny. She can't do it. And you no what? Some actors just cannot work in that format, and she is one of them.
Even worse, SNL is still a god-damn fucking disaster. Did you count the fart/shit/potty jokes last night? Major double digits...come on guys....
Also this, does anyone else fast forward anytime Seth Meyers turns over the Update desk to a 'performer'? I do. And Jon Bovi is the biggest offender. Argh. Other than Jean K. Jean which is only funny because its so bad, I get so mad when we lose valuable headline time for that crap.

Long story short, here is the final math:

Awful host + Terrible overall writing + mediocre female cast / easy fart jokes = Wanda Sykes show. Yep, that's where I am taking my eyeballs next Saturday night.

SLOW THE F**K DOWN 'V'

Holy crap...in only one hour, the V's showed up, announced themselves, were given the name 'V' or 'Visitors', organized a meeting with the UN, came down to meet the UN, started some street clubs with brochures, integrated into our marketing culture, organized spaceship tours, and did TV interviews. Oh, and they already have a resistance movement that knows about them, and many key players already know they are lizards. HOLY SHIT, that was one hour? Watch 'The O.C.' season one much?

You don't HAVE to give us everything in one hour -- that could have easily been played out with huge reveals and suspense over 3-4 shows and no one would have minded. There were no ooh-ahh moments, they just gave it to you. NO FUN AT ALL. We're only into the pilot and it might as well be episode 6. The mini-series didn't get this far after six hours. SLOW DOWN, give us some information to digest perhaps.

On a different note, 'Modern Family' is so damn good it should be criminal. Sometimes a new show comes along and reminds you how good TV comedy can be. 'The Office' and '30 Rock' showed us how workplace comedy could be funny again, and now this show takes dysfunctional family to a whole new level with a nod to 'Arrested Development' for setting the blueprint.

And remember, Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking...

New Hires...

Let's just move forward to the press release where we announce our formal new hires for 2009-2010

1. Modern Family
2. FlashForward
3. Community (contract-to-hire)
4. V (hired w/o interview...strong letter of recommendation

That's it. This is all we added this fall -- lots of retention at DVR, Inc...

Quick Notes:
You can give dual Emmys right now to Don and Betty Draper (Hamm and Jones) for the 'Don's confessional) episode. Reminded of the time I watch Tony and Carmella fight in the bedroom in the last season the Sopranos -- you knew you were watching television genius unfold before your eyes. It was beyond awesome.

FOX needs to figure out how to make the baseball playoffs go faster. I know, how about playing almost every day like in REAL baseball all season long. Just do it, we will still watch.

I am enjoying 'Castle' and 'The Mentalist' this season a lot. 'Bones' hasn't been appointment TV though by any means.

Both 'Law and Orders' are having very solid seasons. I did delete an episode of SVU where they were going to make some abused kid have dinner with his abusive step dad as some sort of sting. Life it too short to have to sit through that.

I love love love 'Fringe' this year. And the same goes for 'Dollhouse', but I assume its on its way to the cancellation bin after the holidays, so I just hope they can wrap it up in style.

Still have all the episodes of 'Melrose Place' on DVR - may get to them, may not...same goes for 'The Good Wife' -- great reviews, etc...just not compelling right now.

I am also about to start 'The League' on FX.

It's Fun to be Right

Remember when I told you in September that even though Leno's numbers were high, the only thing that matters is whether or not he keeps eyeballs on NBC to increase ratings of local TV news....Do you remember?

Well he isn't. Read it here: The LA Times is considered a quality newspaper too...

Glee = Glum

They need to drop both pregnancy story lines immediately -- this show is not as fun as it should be -- its 'Glee' for f**k sake. Go back to the Pilot episode and make it more like that, only with more Sue Sylvester, like from last night - now that was awesome.

So, in summary: More Sue Sylvester, better songs, more fun, less downer bull-shit.

Where the Hell Have I Been?

Admittedly my blogging has been infrequent. This is no way to build an audience and then sustain it. For that, I apologize. I used to write almost everyday, and now it seems its about once per week (ok, month)....I think its a combination of blog fatigue, TV fatigue, and maybe my job which continues to demand my time...what up with that? I also find myself much, much busier with the kids now that they are, you know, like real people with activities and mouths and legs and wants and needs...when did this happen?

Anywho, no analogies this time about interviews, just some quick and dirty thoughts about the Fall season - unedited and unabridged.

SNL - someone commented on one of my old posts ripping me calling Seth Meyers by Seth Rogen. This cracked me up a bit...you see, my blog is found 100x per month from people typing 'SNL sucks' into Google -- turns out you find me pretty quickly. Well this person was directed to an old post from last year about Seth Rogen and instead thought I was a total jackass who didn't know what I was talking about...well guess what? Who is the jackass now? I digress...this year on SNL is beyond horrible, beyond. Megan Fox (who I love with all my heart) was given crappy material, Ryan Reynolds was barely involved, and Drew Barrymore's episode was unwatchable. The sketches themselves are herrendous this year. Its just subjective opinion, I am not going to cite examples, I am just telling you I tape it every week, watch it every week, and FF'd through it every week while shaking my head. So sad.

Brothers and Sisters - I quit this show two weeks ago. I don't miss it.

Desperate Housewives - I am going to quit this show soon. I am not sure what I am looking for in a dramedy these days, but I know it isn't this crap -- which by the way is recycled plot points year after year after year...oh the new neighbor has a secret past and may have done something bad? You don't say. The son may have killed someone in the neighborhood? You don't say. I saw this season already -- THREE FUCKING TIMES.

HIMYM - I usually write pages and pages about this show. All I will say is that it continues to crack me up every week -- so entertaining, so smart, so well casted. I enjoyed the sexless innkeeper/couples date from last night.

Big Bang - Never has a sitcom I despised so much turned so quickly to be one of the best. It did, it is, and it's awesome. I love you Howard Wolowitz and your mom's Thanksgiving Turbriskfilte...or however you pronounce a turkey stuffed with brisket and gefilte fish.

Mad Men - Continues to kill it, every week. This is the best character study/drama on TV and best since Sopranos and maybe the best ever? Who knows. We're lucky to be living through it.

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Great season so far...the Christian Slater bit last night wasn't all that funny, but the whole bit with getting ahold of the doctor and the hot towel was entertaining enough. I love Jeff and Susie and the whole Seinfeld plot is only going to get better - the first one was a great start. And let me say this -- you should always coordinate the tip when splitting the bill.

Greek - OK season so far, not the best. Still watching.

Gossip Girl - OK season so far, not the best. Still watching. After last night, the plots will have to reset again. About twice per year they resolve all open-ended story lines and begin anew. Last night had a satisfying conclusion that could have doubled as a series finale I suppose in a pinch. Lets move on now.

Law and Order/SVU: All DVR'd up for rerun weeks

The Mentalist and Castle - I really like this show. Everyone should watch. It should just be one show, save me some time.

FlashForward - so far, so good. No jinxing it. Everyone should watch.

Fringe - Getting better by the week, love it.

Dollhouse -- Getting better by the week, love it. Except last week's serial killer ep, that was just stupid. So I guess it took a step back...this show has about a shelf life of 10-12 more episodes. Let's wrap it up in style Joss, because I really like the cast and concept...but its not going to last forever like Buffy did.

Man I watch a lot of shows somehow...

The Office - a very solid season, its comedy gold - so I just enjoy it for the art it is. I think its even better in reruns I am told. No time for those yet :)

I think we're caught up here for now...sorry for the dump...going forward I am just going to opine on a single topic when one needs discussing and save the recap posts for midseason and end of season. OUT.

NCIS Is God

Wow. 22 million viewers last night. And only two of them could have been my parents...if only Jay Leno could follow this show, his numbers might come back up. I don't think a show like this has ever gone from average viewers to no viewers to all the viewers over 8 years -- but this show somehow did. Is Mark Harmon that appealing? It's not fair for me to make fun of a show I don't watch...so I won't mock its content or following, I will only share in my public surprise that it is so successful this late in its run.

Couple Quick Thoughts

I really really really liked the season opener of 'Dollhouse' and 'FlashForward'. Lauren and I are officially quitting 'Brothers and Sisters' because its just too much of a soap opera...I know I know...it is what is has always been. But I believe it started out as a drama, and now its just about medical issues, divorces, and more medical issues. DONE.

I thought the 'Housewives' opener was pretty good actually, it has earned a stay of execution. I think after two more episodes I will decide if its stays or goes, but Sunday night and Monday are so packed right now, this show could go and I wouldn't miss it. Right now its just habit.

Here is my major FLASHFORWARD gripe - and trust me, this is making me angry (and I don't know why)....about half way through the show they went to commericial and the voice-over guy for ABC reminded the viewers of something they just saw and told us it might be an important clue...go to ABC.com for more information. At the next break, same thing..."WHAT YOU JUST SAW IS A CLUE, go to ABC.com AND FIND OUT MORE. DONT FORGET WHAT YOU JUST SAW". I threw-up in my mouth a little bit and shed a little tear. What they were basically saying is: "Hello Viewer, you are dumb. We think you quit watching Lost because it was too confusing to watch TV with your brain. Instead, we will just force-create an online community instead of letting one foster itself, and we will tell you what is important so your tiny brain won't have to hurt. Don't worry...sit back, watch the show, and we won't make it very hard for you.." PUKE. Thanks ABC, but that was a turn-off.

Finally, how are the new shows doing? Here you go:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2009-09-29-strong-season-start_N.htm

The Interview Process

Someone at work told me this morning that they are interviewing both new medical dramas - 'Three Rivers' and whatever the new nurse show is. I liked that take on watching new shows, it really is an interview process. That being said, here are the candidates whose resumes I have seen thus far:

-Melrose Place: Got the callback for a second interview, but mostly because it was pretty to look at, wasn't too offensive, and reminded me of someone I hired in the past. (Get it? Hired in the past? This analogy is really taking off....). Although I called for a second and third interview, they may be clogging the DVR for quite awhile until I decide how else to hire.

-Modern Family: Hired. One episode, pure comedy genius. Racially, ethnically, and sexually uncomfortable and possibly offensive. Perfect. Great cast. Good to see Ed O'Neil again back as the patriarch with flaws, and I love the gay couple.

-Glee: Hired. I am not interviewing any 1 hour dramas this year, that department is not only full, but its overstaffed at this point. But there is always room for light-hearted simple dramedy. And set in high school with cast members whose average age is clearly 26? Sign me up.

CONTRACT EXTENSIONS:

-The season premiere of 'Old Christine' was laugh out loud funny again. As I have said for years on this blog, I don't want to like this show, I don't why I laugh so hard, but this show is so well written and so well acted, I can't let it go. If I was still working this analogy, I would say that Christine is the employee who you can't believe got hired, you don't know what the appeal is, you don't want them around, but damn...they sure do a good job.

-'Castle' and 'The Mentalist' are back as the zany crime solvers with a quirk...there are so many of them now - writers, psychics, mind readers, mediums, rich people, manics...it is hard to keep them straight. What I do know is that the two I am keeping on board kept me entertained in 2008-2009, and they get one year extensions. Lets hope against the sophomore slump, because the DVR is already filling up.

-'Fringe' second season premiere was awesome. Tonight should help set the tone for the season. It's not too late to join, and if you need to me fill in the backstory, just let me know.

-'Dollhouse' comes back tomorrow night. I am so excited but afraid I won't enjoy it as much as Season 1 because I was able to watch it all in 2 weeks...As I have said before, once a show is watched consecutively and quickly, its hard to go back to watching a season over 40 weeks...but hopefully this show will sustain the momentum I think it has.

I have an interview tonight with 'FlashForward' - based on the all the kudos coming out from critics, I think this one will be hired on site.

In Case You are Wondering if Jay Leno Sucks...

Monday hour by hour:

8 p.m.
ABC: “Dancing with the Stars” season premiere (17.4 million viewers, 11.0/17 households)
FOX: “House” season premiere (15.8 million, 9.2/14)
CBS: “How I Met Your Mother” season premiere (9.2 million, 5.7/9)/”Accidentally on Purpose” series premiere (9 million, 5.7/8)
NBC: “Heroes” season premiere (6.3 million, 3.9/6)

9 p.m.
ABC: “Dancing with the Stars” (17.6 million, 11.3/17)
FOX: “House” (17.2 million (9.8/14)
CBS: “Two and a Half Men” season premiere (13.6 million, 8.5/12)/”The Big Bang Theory” season premiere (12.8 million, 7.8/11)
NBC: “Heroes” (5.8 million, 3.4/5)

10 p.m.
CBS: “CSI: Miami” season premiere (13.8 million, 8.7/14)
ABC: “Castle” season premiere (9.4 million, 6.2/10)
NBC: “The Jay Leno Show” (5.7 million, 3.8/6)

He does -- and America knows it. The problem is that his show is so cheap to make, they could sell local ads for sex hotlines or cheap auto insurance or Montgomery Flea Market (YouTube it) and still make a bunch of money. They real verdict comes during November sweeps. If Leno can get eyeballs to the 10 PM local news, he stays. If the NBC local news stations across the country get killed in Sweeps (which btw is the only reason we still have sweeps, to measure local news), then he goes.

NEW SHOWS THIS FALL

Here are new shows I am going to try this year...
**I think Melrose Place is terrible so far.
**I enjoyed Community, I look forward to the second week
**Glee is great

Monday, September 21:
Castle, 10 p.m. (ABC) - I watched some re-runs this summer, as far as one hour crime shows go, this one is easy to watch and clever. Its like good background.

Tuesday, September 22:
The Good Wife, 10 p.m. (CBS) - Lauren wants a new show that I wouldn't mind watching -- we will try this one, it's Julianna Margalues as a lawyer whose husband is a cheating politician in jail

Wednesday, September 23:
Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m. (ABC) - new Courtney Cox comedy, I will try it once
Modern Family, 9 p.m. (ABC) - this is the NEW COMEDY SHOW OF THE YEAR according to critics. Ed O'Neil and a bunch of people, supposed to be great.

Thursday, September 24:
Flash Forward, 8 p.m. (ABC)

Friday, September 25:
Brothers, 8 p.m. (Fox) - new Michael Strahan comedy
Dollhouse, 9 p.m. (Fox) -- I love this show in case anyone is looking to jump in. Watched it this summer and loved it.

Sunday, September 27:
The Cleveland Show, 8:30 p.m. (Fox)

Monday, September 28:
Lie to Me, 9 p.m. (Fox) - I like this show too, its another easy hour of one hour murder solving...Tim Roth, good cast. Easy to watch.

Tuesday, November 3:
V, 8 p.m. (ABC) -- this is going to be great (I hope)

Saturday, November 7:
The Wanda Sykes Show, 11 p.m. (Fox) -- she has a new Saturday night variety/talk show.

Is the Blog Back?

To be honest, I'm not really sure...after three seasons, I might have to hang this up for awhile. It's not like I'm done watching TV - that will never happen. It's not like I have nothing to say - that will never happen. I just don't have the motivation yet to sit down and write a post...I think it might be the long summer hiatus.

What I need is a reason. A compelling moment of television that deserves to be written about...and to be honest, I am not sure where this season is headed yet -- so much promise, most promise in a long time. So before I go...for now...here are a few random thoughts:

-I love 'Glee'. It's working out its kinks, but its great.
-I love 'Shark Tank'. Love watching these people try to sell business plans.
-I can't wait for 'Flash Forward' next week
-'Gossip Girl' was not so good so far
-'Greek' is not so good so far
-I hope 'Community' doesn't suck. Premieres tonight.
-'Fringe' is back tonight, yeah!
-'Dollhouse' is great, watched it this summer -- very very good.
-'Curb' starts next week, yeah!
-'The Office' starts tonight, yeah!
-'Mad Men' as usual is frickin fricktastic

SUMMER UPDATE: Solving 'Entourage'

I am breaking from my summer hiatus to post some great news. I finally figured out how 'Entourage' works as a show. I used to get so annoyed at how nothing ever happens and before you know it, 22 minutes is over, and you got nowhere. Well....DUH! Watch a whole season at once, and then its just like watching 3 episodes of a real show.

Lauren and I started all of season 5 the other night since we now have HBO back ($5/month for the next six months, hell yes).

So we got through about 4 episodes and I realized I was enjoying it -- because I didn't have to wait seven days for the next set of nothing to happen. But it turns out if you put a whole lot of nothing together, you get a little something.

So there you go. I am recommending 'Entourage' in large doses -- in the end, you will get a little something.

Back to Hiatus.

SUMMER VACATION

See you all for the Fall TV preview around Labor Day. Until then, be well...be safe..and enjoy your summer.

Sumertime? Feels like April.

The weather has been chilly since Saturday so the only think I know how to do when its cold is watch TV. So I tried to catch up some episodes of 'Earl', but the novelty has worn off that show.

I tried to watch some 'Dollhouse' -- but that seems like July television.
I have been knocking out old 'Rules of Engagement' episodes, and if you've been reading this blog, then you know how much I love Patrick Warburton. He could read the dictionary and I would crack up. Strangely I recently suggested that Megan Fox could read the dictionary too -- but that would elicit a totally different response.

We're also finishing up this season of 'My Boys'. I like the show and I like Jordana Sprio, but something about this show makes it feel like it was made for like $12 in a high-school theater. Maybe its the massive TBS budget, or the writing, but its a quick 22 minutes to fall asleep to.

I still think this summer will be the one where I rent season 1 and 2 of 'Friday Night Lights' -- we'll see what happens.

Summertime...

I think I will keep on posting for a few weeks until the summer really kicks in, and then as always, I will rejoin you all in the Fall ahead of the new season.

I watched the finale of 'SVU' the other night and it sucked. They teased a major death and of course it was a bit character. And admittedly the plot was a little predictable -- but that might be because I watch a lot of TV, originality is hard to find. That's why I love 'Lost' and 'Fringe' so much. You can only do so much on the 'Gossip Girls' of the world that hasn't been done before. Same for the B+S and the Housewives and pretty much everything else.

God Bless good and creative and clever TV writers. The JJ's and the Joss's and the BJ + Mindy's...and the Damon's and Carlton's and Tina's and Eddie and Adam....

I am going to try out 'Royal Pains' on USA and provide you a list of anything else that might be interesting this summer...then I am checking out. TTYL.

Conan Night 2: Didn't See It

Nope. Stuck in the ER until 12:15 AM, and not for pleasure. Cousin.TwinsGameBuddy decided to reach up for a T-shirt coming out of a canon launcher. He lost the T-shirt and his pinky knuckle in a larger man's hands.

3 hours later and the knuckle was casted and I got back to my car. Twins Win!

I will watch the third night tonight and catch up on what I guess was a great Conan bit about Twitter. More to come, but let me say this -- no one is more happy that Conan and Andy Richter are back together than I am. They play off each other so well, and its a great comedy team. The real winner here is us, the late-night viewer.

More to Come....


Get it?

The Debut of Conan

The critics are unanimous, Conan's new Tonight Show is a 'work-in-progress'. Wow, they really stepped out on a limb with this one. I was surprised they didn't call it polished and television perfection. I assume most of them turned in their column before the show aired.

I know, I know, there really is no other review -- but its just funny because they have to do it, and the obligatory default thesis is 'work-in-progress' -- what else could it be?

I liked it. It's a work-in-progress.

The first full week+ of no new TV has been an interesting one filled with reading, parenting, baseball and more baseball. And now that 'Baseball Tonight' on ESPN pretty much runs live all night, every night on the MLB Network in the form of three different shows with three different names that are all on the same set with the same talking heads -- my plate is full.

This summer I will look forward to the burn-off episodes of 'Dirty/Sexy/Money' and one or two new shows on TNT. We still have a full season of L+O: Criminal Intent, the season finale of the other to Law and Orders, the remaining episodes of 'Greek' and I believe Lauren and I are going to try the first two seasons of 'Friday Night Lights'.

B+S, Finally...

It only took four weeks, but the Mrs. and I finished the last three episodes of 'Brothers and Sisters'. Honestly? Eh. Not good, not bad. We were able to move them very quickly because we fast forwarded any conversations between Kitty and Robert since its very clear their marriage is over. And we both agree that in this case, Kitty is to blame -- so chalk one up for the men. Calista Flockhart is tiring. So is this show. No one else left to kill, murder, jail, make sick, or give a drug problem too -- so now we'll get a year of boring romances and a wedding between the hated Harper's and our beloved Walkers. Yeah. Blah.

Some other finale thoughts:
-So did Caleigh accidentally kill Eric her boyfriend on CSI: Miami? Who cares.
-Booth has amnesia on 'Bones'. Really? Please don't do this storyline. Please.
-Is Red Jane, the serial killer responsible for taking Patrick Jane's family from him, really going to be Alicia Witt? Why not. She's hot. Or at least she was during her two episode stint on the Sopranos in season 3.
-Peter Griffen made a great point on a recent 'Family Guy' episode. Why is the voice of adult Ted on 'HIMYM' Bob Saget? Ted is going to sound like Ted in 15 years, not Bob Saget.
-'Fringe' is awesome, I think I mentioned that.

Were also still enjoying 'Greek', have three episodes to catch up on and I think about four more to go this season. And the next season premieres on August 31...how great is that.

I think I am going to watch this show on TNT about the Hamptons doctor who makes house calls. That seems semi-entertaining.

FINAL THOUGHT ON 'BONES' FINALE:
Why do TV shows do episodes that are in the dreams of characters where we get to see our favorite characters act out as other characters like were watching a bad play? Booth and Bones finally get busy but its in a dream sequence where they own a night club? Way to ruin the build-up. Dumb, the whole creative concept is dumb. If I wanted to watch these people play other characters on a show that doesn't advance the plot one iota I would write my own fan fiction, thank you very much. Also this, fan fiction is ridiculous. If someone wanted you to write a episode of 'Lost', they would have asked.

Busy Week for the First Daughter

Olivia Taylor started the week in a fight with her mother the President of the United States. 14 hours later she became the chief-of-staff and 8 hours after that her mother was having her arrested and turned over to the justice department for ordering a hit on a criminal while in FBI custody. What a day.

The crazy part is, the next day she showed up in New York City as a victim of rape and stalking. She told Detective's Stabler and Benson all about it and they got the guy. What a busy week.

I love it when all my shows seem to blend together thanks to the rise-and-fall in popularity of secondary character actors in Hollywood. I'll probably never see her again.

24 Finale was interesting and Introspective

Here is my review. Pretend my name is Robert Bianco and I work for USAToday.

Desperate Housewives Finale was Stupid

Yes it was.
We knew Dave was the bad guy for months now, so all we needed was a climactic ending. Well we got one, Dave decides at the last second to recreate the accident that killed his wife and daughter, only this time, Dave is going to have Mike kill Dave and Mike's son! Genius!

At an even laster second, Dave gets hit by Mike but he grew a conscience and let the kid out of the car. Sweet. Dave doesn't die, goes to a mental institution, and Mike kisses Susan. Now Mike is getting married, but is it Susan (again) or his fiancee Katherine. Ooooh, how will I make it all summer?

Meanwhile, since we already knew Dave was the bad guy AND you paid Lily Tomlin to show up, why not use her and Katherine Joosten more and have them actually solve the crime with the cops? You had this interplay going all season - why just downplay it in the finale? Dumb.

Bree's divorce proceedings? Boring.
Tom going back to college / Lynette pregnant again? Awful. Just kill them all.
Carlos and Gabby taking in a teen-gabby? Funny.
Rest of the show? Awful.

Is Your Show Coming Back in the Fall?

Glad you asked. And glad I didn't have to do the leg work -- leave it to my good friend over at EW.com Michael Ausiello. Check back often this week as he is constantly updating the renewal/cancellation page.

Here are some highlights I bet you didn't know:

'Scrubs' is back. Yep. Wha? I already said goodbye and now she returns. A full season on ABC with only Zach Braff appearing in 6 of them.

'Dollhouse' was renewed. Now I better start watching - they are all DVR'd.

'Castle' is back, I enjoyed that show.

Click here for the full list

Lost Finale Breakdown...AK Style...

Here you go. I will follow up with my own comments later. A lot to digest and I have 9 months to do so.

From AK:
What an awesome show. My first reactions are that I can't believe we have to wait 9 more months, followed soon thereafter by I cannot believe there is only one more season left.

I love being wrong about what is going on. I have to give credit to Annie though for at the very beginning of the two hours saying that "dead Locke" was in the box.

New thoughts on what is going on:

The guy at the beginning of the episode (who was awesome in Deadwood) on the beach with Jacob. Is it Esau? Going in a different direction from the Egyptian mythology angle... And going biblical; Jews in Egypt, maybe? For the simplicity of referring to him, I will just call him Esau.

Who is the biblical Esau:

Firstborn son of Isaac and Rebekah, and ancestor of the Edomites (Gen chap. 36). Popular etymologies (see Gen 25:25, 30) relate the name Esau to se'ar (hairy) "he was like a hairy garment all over; so they called his name Esau" (cf Seir, another name for the land of Edom) and to admoni (ruddy) and adom (red) "the first came forth red" (cf Edom).

Before Esau's birth, it was prophesied that Rebekah's elder son would serve the younger (Gen 25:23). In addition, Esau was born with his twin brother holding his heel, which was interpreted as a sign that Jacob would supplant him. This he did on two occasions: Jacob sold a bowl of lentils to Esau in exchange for the latter's birthright (Gen 25:29-34); and later, with Rebekah's help, he tricked Isaac into giving him the blessing intended for Esau, the firstborn son. Instead of receiving a blessing, Esau's fate was to dwell in the wilderness, live by the sword, and for a time serve his brother Jacob. Some have suggested that this destiny was realized when the Edomites "became David's servants" (II Sam 8:14) in the 10th century, but rebelled successfully against Judean rule (II Kgs 8:20) in the 9th.

In contrast to Jacob the shepherd, Esau was a "skilful hunter, a man of the field" (Gen 25:27), whose venison his father Isaac loved to eat. Esau vowed to kill Jacob (Gen 27:41ff), but when the two met some 20 years later, Esau, at the head of a 400-man army, forgave his brother.

This seems to fit the mold that Jacob on lost is in charge, but that Esau resents his role as leader.

The last sentence of the description above seems to resonate for not only Esau killing Jacob, but also potentially referencing the war of the coming season. Except, of course, in this case Esau (or Ben anyway) kills Jacob.

Esau presumably has the ability to take on the appearance of dead islanders... And I think we can assume that Esau has also been previously appearing as Christian Shepherd. I think it is safe to say that Christian Shepherd is still dead.

Ilyana made the comment, I cannot remember precisely, but more or less that someone else was pretending to be Jacob - right before they burned the cabin down. This seems to be a role reversal. Jacob steals Esau's birthright, and now Esau is taking it back under false pretenses.

Based on the dialog at the beginning, there was sort of an implied love, or at least comradarie between Esau and Jacob prior to Esau saying he wanted to kill Jacob if there were a loophole. Did God forbid one from killing the other?

Ben's line about Locke walking right in "like Moses" jumped out at me, and steered hard into the biblical interpretation of events.

I also am wondering if the boat that Jacob and Esau saw at the beginning of the episode was the Black Rock. Was Richard on it? Esau said that Jacob called for it. Does Jacob need Richard to be the caretaker for the island while he is gone?

Things I still wonder about:

Where is Claire?

Where has Jacob been? Has he been off the island for many years? I get the impression that Richard perhaps hadn't even seen him in years, and that he was stalling Locke because he didn't know if he would be there or not. Is it his absence that has allowed Esau the opportunity to pose as him.

Was the Rose and Bernard thing a simple farewell homage to them? Or was there something more going on there? It seemed like something was going on. Was Juliet holding her stomach as she walked away? Is she pregnant? Is she really dead?

Richard had told Sun that he watched all of her friends die "before his eyes" 30 years ago. I thought we were going to see Richard watching on at the gunfight. They didn't show that to us. He may have been there. If he wasn't, was the flash that ended the episode not realy the bomb going off? If the bomb did go off, I move up my prediction for the series finale to the series premiere next season... If the bomb did go off, we are going to see the remaining survivors boarding flight 815 to start the season. And then presumably the plane will crash again to get the season going? I don't know. I love not knowing.

And last but perhaps definitely most importantly - what was Richard's response to Ilyana's "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" What did he say? And perhaps more importantly, what language was it in?

The response to "What lies in the shadow of the statue?"
It was Latin and Richard answered "Our leader who will save us all!".........translated from "Ille qui nos omnes servabit"

The weaving that Jacob was working on:
Greek reading "may the gods grant thee all that thy heart desires"

'Fringe' Shocker -- big time

Three things about the 'Fringe' finale that had my jaw drop.

1. They are going to go down the path of the existence of a similar but alternate reality as a major plot device. Wow. I am already dealing with time-travel and those consequences on 'Lost' (JJ Abrams) and now here comes 'Fringe' (JJ Abrams). Someone also told me it plays heavily into the new Star Trek movie (JJ Abrams). I wonder if someday Felicity will make a comeback so Carrie Russel can go back in time and not cut her hair off.

2. Peter is from the other reality. WOW. WOW, WOW, WOW. I figured it out about one second before the reveal. That's always the best way. No spoilers, no early guesses, and then BAM -- you know what they're about to tell you and there its right in your face. Wow. Peter died as a kid so Walter went over and 'took' Peter back. This means in the alternate world, which I assume we will one day spend some time in, Walter has a son who went missing as a child and was never found.

3. The final shot. Wow. Balsy but interesting. So in the alternate world, William Bell works in the World Trade Center. What a reveal as the camera pans out. Also revealed thanks to a newspaper in Bell's office - The White House had to be rebuilt for some reason for the Obamas, JFK is still alive, and so is Len Bias and the Celtics 'swept a series'.

This show is only getting better.

24: Prelude to a Finale

Next weeks two hour finale looks awesome. Filled with action and entertainment and some twists and some resolution. The last four weeks leading up to this event have sucked. Same old, same old. I love this show, but this is season seven, and there is only so many new tricks you can play. And after season 5, there are no tricks left. So let's just get down to business and figure out how it was that BadGuy, Inc. could quickly figure out that just in case Tony went down they needed a backup plan to rescue him and the best option was to follow Jack's daughter to the airport, even though when the day began, Jack didn't matter to them. Thank god they had two operatives available to pretend to be airline passengers to befriend Kim. Argh.

Watched 'The Big Bang Theory' as well. It was funny. I am glad I got into this show, it's extremely clever.

Weekend Rewind: Mini-Version

Celebrity Apprentice
I didn't think I would enjoy this season, but I really did. The tasks were very interesting, the cast amusing, annoying, brilliant, stupid, and aggravating were fun to watch each week. Of course the problem was NBC's idea that this show could be 2 hours per week and have a 3-hour finale. No it cannot. And thanks to the power of the DVR, it never was.
I was rooting for Annie Duke last night - she played the game splendidly - and didn't go there to make friends or grow her fame. She is who she is. Joan Rivers on the other hand was a train wreck to watch. She is hillarious, talented, smart, crazy, vindictive, crazy and a little crazy too. Her poor daughter is a walking byproduct of her mother's over-protective and insane nature. She is a sweet woman too, and looks like a Picasso painting. But Joan did win 2/3 tasks last night and took home the prize. You can't convince me otherwise, but I bet her deal with Trump included her daughter being cast on the show and a win for Joan -- it seemed obvious from day 1 that she was going to win. Props to Annie Duke though.

The Office / 30 Rock
I loved 'Cafe Disco' on 'The Office' -- some episodes are just downright touching in a comedic way, and this one was a nice example. '30 Rock' had some great lines as well and I look forward to Alan Alda's assumed story arc.

Didn't watch much else what with the mothers day and the travelling. The DVR is swelling up, but this week is about to GET INSANE:

Monday night 24, only 2 episodes left!
Tuesday night Fringe finale!
Wednesday night 2 hour LOST finale!!!
Thursday night The Office finale!!!
And then I can get around to catching up on everything else until next week's 2-hour 24 finale!!!

LOST Recap/Theories

Courtesy of exclusive guest blogger AK. Get a sandwich and clear your schedules for this read. I would also like to say that when 2005 Locke told 2005 Richard to go tell 1977 Locke to go back and die so that he can return to the island, and we realize that the knowledge given to Locke by Richard actually came from Locke AFTER he went back and died and came back again -- that's when my brain started bleeding a little I think.

Without further ado, here is AK's take:
here are the "stories" we have going right now. Some of what follows is just overall viewpoint, and a bit is specific to last night's episode.

The island and its mysterious powers.
The hostiles.
The Egyptians (I think that all of the Egyptians are hostiles, but not all the hostiles are Egyptians).
Widmore and Eloise.
The Dharma Initiative.
Widmore versus Ben.
The survivors.
Locke.
The Ajira survivors.
Time travel.

I think we need a big Venn diagram for all of this to explain overlap.
The island is everything. It's the big circle that everything overlaps. The smoke monster is "part of the island" - it predates the Egyptians. The carvings we saw in the temple show it talking to the Egyptian gods. It is a presence that pre-dates them.
I think the Egyptians are the second oldest thing on the island. The temple, Richard (he's been an advisor "for a very long time," and Jacob. The island predates them, but they were the first people on the island.
The hostiles are the larger group of indigenous people that have accumulated on the island over the years via shipwreck (the Black Rock, et al) over the years. The Egyptians have brought them into the hostile fold. Gods do need followers after all.
Widmore and Eloise then came to the island at some point. How? Why? Wasn't young Widmore in the Army? Military operations in the South Pacific during WW2 brought them here, and they never left? (Backstories will assuredly come for one or both of them with dedicated episodes.)
The Dharma Initiative comes to the island and plans to stay. The hostiles don't like this. They establish an uneasy truce.
Ben is brought to the hostiles, his life is saved, he usurps power from Widmore, casts Widmore off the island (where is Eloise?)
The survivors crash on the island, and eventually we discover they've landed in the middle of this whole mess. It is interesting to me that if you look at the "turnover ratio" of the original crash survivors, one could make the argument that none of the survivors is relevant... they are just part of the background. They are the eyes through which we see the greater story unfolding. None of the survivors are all that important in the big picture, except for one...
Who is Locke in all of this? Why is he so special? I don't think Locke was special. I think Locke makes himself special (see below).
And then the Ajira flight crashes and these new Ajira survivors surface. I still think they overlap with the Egyptians, clued by their passphrase of "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" I think Widmore hired them, but I think they are Eqyptians. In the war, who will they fight for (see below)?
I think that there is a war lining up for the last season. But who are the players in the war? Potential players in the war are 1) The Egyptians; 2) The Hostiles mutiny led by John Locke; 3) Charles Widmore? But what troops does he have in place to fight in this war? Where is his representation?; 4) Benjamin Linus? Does he have individual skin in this game, or does he fight on the side of the Eqyptians? It's kind of funny because it sort of seems like no one wants Ben. (Poor Ben.) But what troops does he have in place to fight in this war?; 5) Eloise Hawking. Something tells me she is going to have a role in the war, but again, on whose side? What are her motivations, and are they aligned with Widmore?
And then you add in time travel. The show has always focused on philosophy and religion. It has lead me to wonder about all of the talk of destiny, and with the one scene we saw last night with Locke watching himself come out of the woods, it made me think about Calvinism and free-choice, and pre-determination. Which then led me to the thought of removing religion entirely from the destiny talk. If one could travel back in time, would you not know your own destiny, it having already occurred? And if one knows what the future holds and has at least some level of control over it, does that not make them a god of sorts? Think of Jacob, and Richard, and the Egyptian angle... forget about Stargate and alien Egyptian gods. If you can control time relative to those around you who cannot, would you not be a god to them? Using the power of the island, are people like Jacob and Richard simply people, very old people, who many years ago were gods to a nation? And now, for reasons unknown, they are gods to the hostiles on this island. I think people are creating their own self-fulfilling prophecies. Take this as a thesis and chew on it: Is John Locke the new god of the island? Even more powerful than Jacob? And the reason he is going to kill Jacob is because he already has? And he knows it is his destiny? A destiny that he created for himself. The one thing Lost has made an artform of is tipping us off that very important things have happened offscreen and gets us to move on and forget about them from some other compelling twist. It is the reason that the flashbacks have always been so compelling - they reveal something to us that we never expected, but perhaps we should have (Nothing demonstrates this better than the best hour of TV ever - when we found John Locke had been in a wheelchair.) Think of all the things that Locke could have done while he was out of the picture. The time travel he could have accomplished (or fallen into). And, truth be told, he didn't need any offscreen time, because with the manipulation of time, anything done can be undone? For example, did Locke actually rise from the dead? Or did he "simply" travel back in time prior to having died, and then traveled forward in time again to where he is today? And pardon a brief sojourn into tongue-in-cheek blasphemy, but imagine if Jesus Christ had the power of the island? Could he not have done the same thing? Does a god have the ability to manipulate time, and determine fate and destiny? Or is it the other way around - is it the mastery of time that makes one a god?
I think it will be an interesting ride to the end. I still stick by my bookend theory that the series ends with the remaining survivors boarding the original flight with their corrected timeline. I'm not sure that the timelines will get corrected this season to reunite the remaining survivors. I think that survivors split across the timelines may play out and ultimately something that happens in the past timeline (the detonation of the bomb) will ultimately have a direct effect on the outcome of the war in the future. I think many great dramas and comedies (think Seinfeld) play out best when multiple storylines, seemingly unrelated come together in the realization of the plot. Will we have Kate, Sawyer, Juliet in mainland US in 1977 interacting with a still living Daniel Faraday and Charlotte and any number of other "dead folk?"; Miles, Hurley, and Jin on the island beaches of 1977 - perhaps with Dr. Cheng along; Sayid, Eloise, and Richard on the island in 1977 trying to move the bomb to the Swan - against the wishes of Widmore (and Richard seems to have something planned, as well); and Locke leading a mutiny to Jacob's doorstep, while Richard and Ben have other things in mind. But can/will Ben actually go against his pledge to the smoke monster to follow Locke? Plus Widmore of 2007 is trying to get back to the island. I believe he will. Somehow or other he is going to get back to the island with Desmond in tow...

HIMYM Note and More...

Stella is not the mother of Ted's children. I think we all know that. She is just another link in the chain of events that will lead to 'the mother'. We can rest easy -- since Stella sucks. It's amazing that Sarah Chalke can play two different characters on TV at the same time, one night apart, and one of them I love with all my heart and the other just sucks. Damn she is good.

I love '24' -- this season is top notch. It's also dragging on now. Can we please end this thing before I formally get bored? Please? Hopefully we have one or two good twists and some solid action sequences left. Let's send her home with a bang.

NOTES:
-Still two episodes back on B+S
-Still two episodes back on Greek
-I AM TELLING EVERYONE to watch the 3-hour finale on Sunday of Celebrity Apprentice. Annie Duke and Joan Rivers flat out hate each other. Hate. Its going to be awesome.

Here Comes NBC Fall Schedule

NBC sucks. We all know it. I watch several of their shows, but no dramas - except the 'L&O' franchise because NBC sucks. And with Leno moving to 5-nights-per-week, its going to suck even more.

Here is what they announced today at their annual upfronts for next season

'Lost' Rebuttal plus 'Castle'

Here is my rebuttal to exclusive Op-EdTV Lostologist AK:
I see where you are going, and I don't mind it. But let me tell you this -- I hope that what are you saying is accelerated a little more. In my mind, the end of this season should wrap up the whole time-space/destiny issue. I am hoping that we end the season with everyone back together in 2007 on the island, and we are aware of how we changed history and in what way. Then we get the big shocker/twist to kick us into next year...if my intuitions are correct, the last 16 episodes should be all about the war for the island: Castaways vs. Widmore vs. Others/Locke vs. Linus vs. Hawking vs. Ajeera Crew (shadow of the statue) people. We have a lot of groups with a lot of interests left -- its going to take a whole season to sort it all out methinks. As Huey Lewis once said, sort of, "gotta get back in time".

CASTLE
Watched 1.5 episodes so far. Like it.
I have more to say on this new style of zany crimesolvers on TV - but its gets a whole post and I am going to dinner now.

Lost Breakdown

You love him, you hate him. You agree, you disagree...either way it's good reading. Here he is again -- our exclusive Lostologist, AK.
Take it away AK:

Widmore being Daniel's dad... I always assumed that. I didn't think that realization was all that impactful. It was interesting that his mom sent him back knowing that she was going to shoot him. I do wonder if she will end up being the baddest of the bad guys.

I still support my previous prediction on how the series is going to end, and I think the details of last night continue to support that:

Way back in season one there was all of this talk about how there were two flight 815s. Just like last night, all of these scenes that Faraday kept looping back into; the series will end with the Lost survivors from the second time around getting back onto the plane. They will have corrected (actually probably "mostly corrected") the timeline that set everything in motion and they will come back to Australia caught up in the repetition of past events that will be re-occuring again. But this time, some people that were on flight 815 the first time will not be there: Shannon, Boone, Charlie, Eko, Libby, Ana Lucia... (Supported by Faraday's comment last night that any of them can die.) They may even do a montage, showing 815a with the old footage of the original crashers boarding (nostalgia-style); and intersplice that with the new footage of the surviving crashers boarding flight 815b...

And in true Lost form, I am hoping they end with the show with an unanswered question -- is the plane going to land in LA as it was supposed to? They fixed most of the problems, but not all of them? And perhaps as Faraday stated that the survivors were the variables, now that some of the variables are gone (i.e., dead) will that cause different things to occur the second go-round on flight 815b? Maybe the plane will still crash again and restart the whole cycle?

I hope I am wrong, because what has made Lost so great for me, is that I can never predict what is going to happen. But the scenario I described above seems so much like where they are planning on going with this.

I'm bummed that Faraday is dead, though. And am a bit skeptical of the clip for next week where they are looking at Faraday's journal and say "if we can just do everything that is written in this journal..." This guy mastered time travel and is Mr. Brilliant, and we're too believe that he took such good notes in legible handwriting that are written in laymen's terms, that they are going to be able to follow it? Isn't that kind of like giving someone a handwritten copy of Grey's Anatomy (the book, not the TV show) and expecting them to be able to perform a heart transplant?

Workout Problem?

I visited a gym last night that I don't belong to. I was there to play tennis, but stayed to run. Yeah, you know me and my hardcore training regiment. If it makes you feel better, I had DQ on the way home.

Anyway, I noticed that this particular large publicly traded health club had about 12 TVs playing near the equipment. 1 had ESPN, 4 had Lifetime, 1 had FOX News, and a couple had CNN or ABC or CBS or something like that...

No Twins game. No NBA playoff game. Look, I get it, gyms are made for the ladies too - but no sports other than a gimmie-ESPN TV? Really? And for that reason alone, I would never join this gym - not in this 'Lifetime' -- by the way, that pun is funny for at least two reasons.

Everyone needs something from their clubs -- some need hot people to motivate them. Some need high monthly dues to justify their attendance. Some like free towels -- I like to run to the Twins games. So I'm out. Nice visit though. I will continue to work out at home for free with my 10 year old Treadmill and 13 year old tube TV.

I couldn't finish my full run. Some call it laziness. I think I was just protesting. I'd go back back for the tennis though. Thanks Dad.

Where is the Brothers and Sisters love they ask....

Until Donald Trump is done crowning Brande Roderick the Celebrity Apprentice for the off-chance he can get in her pants, 'B+S' is relegated to Tuesday night viewing status.

On the levels of water-cooler must-see-night-of status, here is the current order:

1. Lost
2. 24
3. Celebrity Apprentice
4. The Office
5. 30 Rock
6. Fringe
7. Housewives (you never know who is gonna die prompting USA Today to run a headline)
8. Gossip Girl
9. Everything else, since most shows are not headline or internet spoiler-gossip worthy at this point.

24

set up episode for the big finish:
-The return of Choloe and CTU computers
-We now know who the bad guy is - sort of - a consortium of military-for-hire leaders
-I wonder if we will learn more about the woman organizer who is with Tony
-What is wrong with Tony?
-Renee cleans up very quickly I noticed
-the President's daughter is crazy, means well I think, but is crazy

Goodbye Bea Arthur

Although this rarely came up in conversation, nor did I ever start discourse with this information, but let it be known, that I enjoyed Bea Arthur. As a kid, I watched her on Golden Girls every Saturday night for several years - and she was the one who resonated with me (in a 'if I had to pick a third grandma' kind of way). I know Betty White (Rose) was the one from Minnesota, but not my Minnesota -- nope, it was Bea Arthur's style that struck a nerve with me. She was tough, funny, no-nonsense, and very funny.

Later in life, Bea Arthur became known to me as the target of one of the best, nastiest, meanest, dirtiest, and awesomest Comedy Central Roast jokes of all time. I am not going to repeat it, but Google 'Jeffrey Ross + Bea Arthur' and you'll see it. She didn't enjoy it too much up on the stage, but she took the joke -- she was a nice lady.

TVGuide.com Guide to 16 Season Finales

It's a good read - and it is right here

DVR Status

Here is what is in the pipeline as of today:

CSI: Miami (1)
Dollhouse (6)
Fringe (3)
My Name is Earl (10)
Law and Order:CI (1, season premiere)
Numbers (1)
Trust Me (5 - through the series finale)
Better off Ted (3)
Parks and Recreation (1)
Greek (1)
Rules of Engagement (1)
College Life (MTV show about Freshman at UW-Madison) (2)

I have a lot of ground to cover -- this whole day job and parenting is really getting in the way I guess. Just kidding, but I plan to get through this list by the end of the summer...

I did however NOT ENJOY THE FAKE LOST "NEW" RECAP EPISODE LAST NIGHT. Come on ABC, don't tell me I will see things from a whole new angle. We're 'Lost' viewers, we're not that dumb. Just say recap show. That being said, I am fired up for a big finish this year.

Will Your Favorite Show Survive?

Gary Levin from USAToday is a great reporter and he did the work for us.

Here you go

Live Blogging the Desperate Housewives

8:45 PM: Might as well start watching - mostly out of habit.

8:49 PM: Edie is dead.

8:52 PM: Boring. I am going to FF through this show tonight.

8:59 PM: All right, caught up to live Housewives. Great episode!

I honestly used to hate recap episodes -- its a staple of the 80's, right? Remember when you'd sit down to watch 'Family Ties' and it was just the Keaton family sitting down to reminisce through season 1-4? Yeah - that sucked.

Do you know what sucks worse? Flashback/Recap shows with stuff that NEVER HAPPENED ON THE SHOW!! Yeah it happened in the past, but only because they decided it did. And this isn't 'Lost' -- so its really just a waste of time. Plot advancement? Nope.

OTHER WEEKEND NOTES:
- Watched two episodes of 'Bones' -- I love this show.

- Started two episodes of 'Surviving Suburbia' with Bob Saget. IT SUCKED. We bagged each one about 8 minutes in. It was awful. Truly.

- Watched 'Gary Unmarried' -- fell asleep.

Wednesday Thoughts

I am excited for 'Lost' tonight as always. Honestly, the weeks seem to be flying by right now. Every time I turn around it's Wednesday. How is this happening? Where is the little girl I carried? Where is the little boy at play? I don't remember growing older? When did they?

Eight weeks ago I told you that the worst words on television were 'Fringe will return in April with new episodes'. Meanwhile, I now have two stored up the DVR -- so I must not have been THAT EXCITED for it to come back. Or maybe FOX should take a hint and not take 6 week breaks between episodes. I moved on. For now. As soon as I free up some time I will dive right back in and I am excited for the big reveal that Leonard Nimoy is coming on board in the finale.

This week I watch 'HIMYM' and 'TBBT'. Still love them both. It's been odd with Robin and Lily's real-life pregnancies dominating the show -- you just can't take it seriously knowing they are both hiding pregnancies. The writers have done a tremendous job though letting us in on the joke, and I have really appreciated that self reflexive angle. I think my only complaint is that Ted needs to get a job.
'Big Bang' is just killing it right now.

I saw that 'SVU' was renewed but no deals are in place for Hargitay/Maloney. I say PAY THEM NBC -- it's your highest rated show and right now you dedicate 4 out of 21 hours per week to 'Biggest Loser' and 'Celebrity Apprentice'. You suck. And next season you are dropping your Primetime hours to 14. YOU SUCK NBC. I also did not like 'Parks and Rec' -- but the writers and Amy Poehler have earned my respect and the right to play out the season with my viewership and loyalty intact.
'30 Rock' is killing it this year btw...

Have fun with 'Lost' tonight. It's a Miles episode, should be interesting.

24 Thoughts from Tonight...

What in the name of Jack Bauer happened? WTF was that?

Wha? Huh? Really? What? Ok....No. No! What? Whatever.....

Easter Thoughts

* I love the Masters. And the weather is perfect for watching golf guilt-free.

* Saturday Night Live hit rock bottom two weeks ago with Seth Rogen. It stayed in the same gutter with Zac Efron. How?
-The new version of Mary Katherine Gallagher with Kirsten Wiig is awful.
-Jon Bovi on Weekend Update
-The lame blogger bit on Weekend Update
-I did laugh some at the cold open -- full disclosure

*Both 'The Office' episodes were very good, not great, not hilarious. Can we just get the Dunder Mifflin band back together soon? I did however enjoy Vikram and Michael Scott's Nana.

*Fell asleep during Parks and Rec -- I don't know if I was tired or it sucks -- you tell me?

*I have so much DVR constipation at this point, I don't know where to start.

*Leonard Nimoy is coming to 'Fringe' - that is cool.

Go Tiger...

Lost Thoughts: Exclusive Breakdown from A.K.

Semi-famous Lost-theorist and man of Claven-like knowledge of worthless facts has agreed to spew his Lost theories exclusively for us here at Op-EdTV. So enjoy the mind of A.K., and if he is even remotely close, we are in for some incredible reveals...

Without further ado:
In the temple... that was an image of the smoke monster approaching Anubis, the Egyptian god of the underworld. He is the "Protector of the Dead." I think that explains why, in the smoke, people see images of dead people. I think it also explains the whispers that people hear, which was brought up again last night by Ben to Rousseau. I think that the smoke monster is some kind of tool or servant of Anubis. I think that the four-toed statue is also Anubis.

Other ideas based off of this that I am just guessing about... What we thought was the temple, is just the walls around the temple to hide it, according to Ben. I think the real temple is a pyramid, and based on the time-traveling existence outside of time, I am guessing that it is a fully intact ancient pyramid like those at Giza, but untouched by time. That will be a big visual reveal at some point in time.

Ilana and Caesar (who I don't think is really dead) are two of many that were on the Ajira flight. "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" was their security call to identify the others on the flight that Widmore had hired. If you answered it correctly, they knew you were one of them. They found the Others stash of weapons (because Ben knew what was in the box). Did Widmore tell them what and where to look? I don't know. I thought he was gone before they established a presence on that island, but maybe not). Either way, the weapons were on the side-island and they knew where to find them.

I think that Widmore hired a little mercenary team to be on that flight with the Oceanix Six to help him in getting back to the island. That being said, I think Ilana and Caesar have their own interests in mind. Their physical appearances say Egyptian to me. (Widmore hired Charlotte and Faraday too. They may have been working for him, but they had their own reasons to get back to the island.)

To let me get further carried away...Jacob is Ra, and Richard is Thoth. Check this out for support (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoth). Thoth was the "heart and tongue of Ra" the god of all gods in Egypt. And the means by which Ra spoke. Sounds like Richard. In and of himself not very powerful, but acts as the mouth of the supreme being.

Strangely enough, next week's episode is titled "Some Like It Hoth" (not Thoth), but that seems like a weird title for the episode. The most obvious reference would be Empire Strikes Back (so maybe it's just a throw-away Hurley line).

THE END

And there you have. Exclusive. Mind boggling.

Wha Happened?

Went to bed at 8 PM last night like I was six years old or something. Turns out the Twins pulled out some amazing win and I missed many shows. But I feel very rested today - even trade off. More tomorrow on 'Lost' and 'Fringe'

Spring has Sprung

It might not feel like it outside where you are, but Spring is here - baseball has kicked off and we are heading into series/season finale territory. This is also very exciting because now we get the Mon-Tues-Wed 24/Fringe/Lost trifecta that has been gone since early February -- yeah! All three shows have about 6 episodes left and should be moving into major plot reveal territory which is a lot of fun. Scattered among those shows is the end of 'Gossip Girl' which has clearly had an off year, the final episodes of 'Scrubs' and big endings for 'The Office' and '30 Rock' -- btw, there are two new episodes of 'The Office' this week sandwiching the new 'Parks and Recreation' show. Lets just assume NBC has found another winner here. Finally.

The Twins season started off in poor fashion. As Morneau said last night, "there goes the undefeated season" -- but we'll get back on that horse tonight and the next 200 nights as well...YEAH BASEBALL!

Seth Rogen + SNL Sucks

The sorry state of this program deserves our attention. I quit after weekend update out of pure disgust and hatred. Every watch your once proud -- insert favorite sports team, tv show, or role model -- fade into a former shell of itself? A real-time caricature that won't end? This is getting ever worse.

Funny thing? I get a good laugh out of Jean K. Jean the French comedian. I think its hysterical...but I think maybe its only funny because it is so bad. Other than that, Seth destroyed a promising weekend update again with too much Rod Blago and WAY TOO MUCH Madonna/Jolie. I think the trick has always been the fine line -- how much of something is funny until it becomes tiring? To borrow a Malcolm Gladwell reference, what is the comedy tipping point from clever and/or hilarious to drawn out and boring?

Here is an example. Cold Open. Barry Obama is going to tell America which companies are no longer fit to exist under his administration. Funny. But 5 minutes of saying "Hanes, yes. Fruit of the Loom, no." Really? The bit grew tired fast and then kept going.

The other problem right now is the Andy Samberg 'fart/puke/shit/everyone is gay' that has become so prominent. I think the new mantra around SNL is, "when in doubt, just have two dudes make out. That kills. Worse case, shock em with filth"

Witness 'Fast and the Bi-Curious' and the worst worst worst Digital Short ever. I won't even try to explain it, but just know this, in Andy Samberg's world -- its hilarious for 'a boss' to have sex with a fish in a back alley, not to mention himself. Man, Richard Pryor must be so jealous of this young talent.

I digress. I am not a comedy writer (or much of a writer at all). I am however a 30 year watcher of SNL and someone who enjoys comedy. In both departments I am sad.

Also this -- the cartoon strip characters brought to life to lament the end of newspapers? Almost clever but not funny. I actually think when they did the EXACT SAME THING and brought the Broadway characters to life, it was much more funny.

Life On Mars: Final Thoughts

I should really keep milking this whole 'Life on Mars' epilogue bit -- I had my highest click rate ever yesterday...the internets were buzzing with anger, frustration, and a general need to find some kind of closure. I hope people found the solace they were looking for. After all, it's just TV -- even I know that.

I tuned into 'ER' last night for the finale, I FF'd through 99% of it, watched a few scenes, and then enjoyed the ending -- a long running show like 'ER', with no major revelations or mythology can easily go out with a nice, simple fade-out and everyone will be happy. But what is going to happen when the final black-screen drops on 'Lost'? It's going to be a nightmare on the world wide webs. Whatever they come up will never satisfy everyone...so lets buy some extra bandwidth and get ready for next May.

Lauren DVR'd two new sitcoms on ABC Family: 'Roommates' and 'Sophie'. We also then tried 'In the Motherhood'. Final verdict on all three? Crap, Crappier, and Crappiest. Wow, makes you appreciate when a new show can actually get you to invest in 1-2 episodes. All three of these shows were so bad I almost wanted to cry and give 'Better of Ted' an Emmy just because I was able to sit through two episodes. Sorry ABC Family, I love me some 'Greek' but the rest of your programming so far doesn't do it for me. I will say this about 'Roommates', if someone wanted to make the world's worst rip off of 'Friends' - this one is it. Mazel.

Life on Mars Finale: Next Day Thoughts

Here is the thing folks, and it's true with all TV shows and films...when the characters aren't real, and the actions and outcomes inevitably have no meaning, then yes, it is very hard to have complete satisfaction or closure. You wanted them to be real. You wanted their actions to mean something.

When Pam Ewing dreamed a whole season in one night - that was very unsatisfying.
When the grandson shook the snow globe in 'St. Elsehwere', that was really unsatisfying.
When Bob Newhart woke up in his old show? That was plain old genius.

I have combed thousands of online 'Mars' comments and most people would have just been happier with him staying in 1973. But let's remember here folks, he did actually work out two key issues in his life in a programmed 2 year dream -- he realized his love for Annie, and he wants to fix things with his father. So it actually did have meaning. There were two versions of his dad -- how he viewed his dad and what he wanted his dad to be. In the end, his 'real dad' killed the dad Sam believed he had -- in his mind, his father was being replaced with the dad he wanted -- and he hugged him in 1973, and then hugged him and apologized in 2035. Very satisfying.
How about Annie as a love interest that lived as a dormant feeling coming to the surface in a dream? Love it. And you know why? Because in real life we have all had dreams that told us something we hadn't thought of or helped us figure something out - in real life, dreams are crazy. We knew this was a dream from the first episode...if you wanted the show to be 'real', then this was the only true explanation -- then what better way to wrap it up then a satisfying ending to a 2 year dream. Who were these people, how did he know them, what issues did it help him work out? It was all there. On a cheezy-looking spaceship where I believe Sasha Obama is a 36 year old President (if I did my math right).

The whole show was very Wizard of Oz, and I liked it. Here is one good comment I stole from a board that does some good explaining as well:

Robbi Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 06:58 AM EST
What you guys who hated the ending being, basically, a dream sequence, aren't taking into account is that there was no possible way it could have been anything else. HELLO! You don't get hit by a car in one year and wake up in another. It was clear from episode one that this was all taking place in Sam's head. That was the cool part. Trying to figure out who these people were to him and why his "mind" cast them in these roles. I think the ending was fantastically done, considering the amount of time they had to work with it. The writers said this was the planned ending all along. They just didn't expect to have to use it so soon. Awesome show and I will miss it!

Finally, speaking of the Wizard of Oz, someone pointed out that Frank Morgan, the head of ground control who was speaking to Major Tom (Gene Hunt's real name...and now we know why there was so much Bowie) is the REAL LIFE name of the character that played the Wizard of Oz in the movie. Very 'Lost' of them....

Life on Mars Finale: Immediate Thoughts

I reserve the right to change my mind over the next day or so as I digest. But of course my first inclination is to say WHAT THE FUCK?
My second inclination is to say -- ok, that was clever and I see what they did.
My third incliniation was to say -- oh, life on mars, I get it...
My fourth inclination is to say -- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
My fifth inclination is to say -- clever, very clever...I think

Of course when something ends up being completely inside one's imagination, A.K.A., 'Dallas', then you want to yell COP OUT. And I do want to yell "WHY ARE YOU ALIVE BOBBY EWING?"...but I won't -- because it does help to explain a lot of what we watched. This ending does work in a show that only got 17 episodes. If it went on five years I think I would have kicked in my TV....I look forward to the internet reaction tomorrow. But before I can read any of it and let it taint me, I am going to go with this final inclination:
It was a good show, lots of fun, good acting, great music, good stories, and a satisfying-enough ending that was a little out there but very entertaining none-the-less. There is little left to interpretation and that's a good thing too. I liked it.

Final Mars Tomorrow

Yes, I am fired up for 'Lost' as usual, but tomorrow is the final 'Life on Mars'.
Here is a short interview with Mars creators on EW.com
Here is a short interview with Mars creators on TVguide.com

Did you know that TV Guide and Tvguide.com are two separate companies who no longer share talent cross-platform? Weird right?

Jack Bauer (SPOILER ALERT) might be dying. Somehow an antidote should arrive in the nick of time I suppose. He did sign on for one more year. Kudos to the makeup crew for creating a very believable upper body for Jack -- a man who has been as beaten and tortured as Jack should have as many scars as they gave him. Solid work.

Rodman Meltdown

If you didn't see it last night on 'Celebrity Apprentice', which you probably didn't...it was epic. It was a car accident on the side of the road with injuries. It was comedy, tragedy, frustration, disaster, and an intervention all in one.

I have been waiting for Trump to kick off this idiot for weeks, but the wait was worth it for this. I know it is sad to see someone in this bad shape and denial - but I believe Dennis sees nothing wrong with it, and no matter how you edit this show - he is a disaster. You might want to watch online. You will also gain a new appreciation for hotel management - room service, concierge service, and housekeeping. As poker champion Annie Duke said, "after this, I am going to leave a $100 tip everytime for housekeeping." I used quotes, but I was paraphrasing.

In other news: Clint Black is still worthless, Jesse James is growing on me a little, Brandy Roderick is still super hot, T-Boz actually was fairly impressive, Khloe Kardashian is the biggest waste of space (a lot of space) on television, Brian McKnight is better than I thought, I still love Joan Rivers, and Stephen Baldwin is lucky he has Donald Trump to put him on television.

New 24, HIMYM, TBBT, and Gossip Girl tonight. AND THE SEASON PREMIERE OF 'GREEK'.

Life Off Mars: One Week

Start packing your bags kids, I think we are going back to 2008. At least I think so. I am going to assume that 'Life on Mars' is going to give us a very satisfying conclusion -- it has a successful show to model itself after, and it ran about as long as the model did. I have purposely kept myself spoiler-free since September so that I wouldn't know the ending - assuming they keep it the same -- so only one more week to go. I hope the resolution involves Sam killing his father, changing his own childhood and ending up with Annie in 2008 -- but I assume that all cannot happen.
I did really enjoy the ep last night, and as I was sitting there in awe of the exposition from the FBI agent who was explaining the whole conspiracy to Sam, it was deflated when Annie reminded him that it was all in the psych file. Damn psych file. I am glad Ray and Chris didn't die either -- I would think Sam might visit them when he gets home.

LOST
As always, I don't have a lot of comments, I save those for the experts, but I thought the episode was just OK with a crazy ending...WTF? I will borrow one theory I read and write the following words: Paging Doctor Shepard...again...

From Doc Jensen on EW.com

Thoughts on a Dreary Tuesday

The worst 5 words you could ever read in an entertainment headline:

"Robert Wuhl developing HBO series"

(segue)
Kieffer Sutherland says he will do an 8th season of '24' next year. Way to ruin last night's cliffhanger about whether he will die from chemical exposure. I really thought this was it for him...he only evaded what amounts to 1000 bullets last night fired at him by 5 trucks and a copter -- and fired by ex-military mercenaries. So yeah, that one made sense. I was very proud of Jack last night for growing a conscience for once...but Tony was right, saving one man (in this case) may end up killing many, and Tony too, instead...DUMB Jack...keep killing the few to save the many, that is how we roll on 24. I also think the President's daughter is in deeper than we know right now. And finally, I love how Ethan decided to clean out his office last night by taking one picture out of a frame and taking one book -- guess he packs light. When I move out of my office one day its going to take a moving van.

The Shocking Death and a sale at Target

Cute way to kill of Edie on the Housewives program...I guess. To be honest, I was reading the paper during the show last night, and by reading the paper I mean looking at the advertisement inserts. So from what I recall, Carlos is a pushover at work until its a matter of his children and there is a sale on softball pants at Dicks. I also see Target is featuring $9.99 Welcome mats for the front entry. Oh, and Roundy's is running 10 for 10 right now which includes 6 17 oz. bottles of reverse osmosis Roundy's water for a buck.

Edie is gone, Dave is still on the loose, Orson is crazy, Susan is still annoying, Lynette is just as annoying, and Dana Delaney is like wallpaper that was much better looking when it was on 'China Beach'.

'Brothers and Sisters' was just as interesting....during that show I found out that 40 inch Sony Bravia TVs 1080i are under $1000 -- this breaking news was 10x more interesting than Holly Harper getting the charges dropped on Tommy who has disappeared to Mexico. And for those of us who enjoy mixing real-life with fiction, this means Tommy is now on a boat somewhere with a topless Siena Miller ruining his life.

'Celebrity Apprentice' was 2 hours again -- shame on you NBC. Shame, Shame, Shame....The reason editors were invented was to take hours of boring footage and package it tightly and professionally into 1 hour. Its cheating when they give you 2 hours JUST TO FILL TIME ON AN EMPTY NIGHT IN AN EMPTY TIMESLOT ON AN EMPTY NETWORK. I remember when NBC used to take themselves seriously and put effort into their programming. Now its like they are taking a crap right on the TV Guide.
2 hours....we watched the whole thing in 20 minutes on Fast Forward and MISSED NOTHING. Also this, I won't be buying a video phone, Joan Rivers is funny, and Dennis Rodman needs to go. Clint Black can go with him.

A Very Special Victims Unit

Can I just say how great it is to have Stephanie March back on SVU. She is so awesome. I know, that was a very impressive and objective and well thought out sentence. But you know what, just having her presence on screen again makes me feel like the victims voices will be heard in a court of law. She is also pretty hot.
Who is writing this blog? A 12 year old?

Anyway -- here is some insightful adult writing:

I thought 'The Mentalist' was excellent last night. The writing was crisp, sharp, witty and didn't really exploit a sweeps stunt like temporary blindness in a way we're used to. It worked within the storyline, was used sparingly and effectively, and actually helped to tell a good story. Other than 'Bones', this is the best week-to-week procedural on TV. Great cast, good stories, and makes 'Monk' look like cable access.

I continually laugh at 'Rules of Engagement'. I tried not to again, but it's funny. At this point I will just deal with it and try not to fight it anymore.

We watched the 3rd episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' last night and (spoiler alert) Tom Green was sent home. I think there is a business term to describe his performance as a PM, and I think that term is 'inadequate in every way, shape, and form. The funny thing is, Dennis Rodman is 10x worse and keeps getting saved by Trump. Closed circuit to Trump: Rodman is the worst contestant in the history of the show, please eliminate him so we can return to enjoying the competition.

Final 'Apprentice' thought...every time Brandy Roderick comes on screen it is such a treat. She is naturally gorgeous, very smart, savvy, calm and collected, and doesn't mind taking her clothes off (from what I am told). On the contrary, every time Joan or Melissa Rivers comes on screen, a little part of my eye balls die.

Monday Night Madness

It's going to be a busy week what with the Tourney starting on Thursday. For now, I need to make sure I make it through this week's programming and don't get too backed up. Speaking of DVR constipation, here is a current tally (top of mind):

-Bones (1 episode)
-Numbers (1 episode)
-SVU (1 episode)
-Dollhouse (4 episodes)
-Celebrity Apprentice (1 episode)
-CSI:Miami (4 episodes)
-Earl (whole season)

Last night we were given the gift of CBS programming for those under the age of 40. Both 'Big Bang' and 'HIMYM' were fantastic. Kaley Cuoco is getting a lot of props lately by critics for her role as Penny on 'BBT' and it is deserved. She plays that role so well I couldn't imagine anyone else playing off Leonard and Sheldon as creatively and appropriately as she does. I wasn't sure of the show or her character at first, but both have made believers out of me.

HIMYM is so good - they can really do no wrong...and that's saying something considering how annoying they made Laura Prepon's character. I loved all the jammies. And of course, as usual, NP Harris kills.

'24' is really good this year. Last night was a filler episode -- they happen. You need them to bridge one story to another. I get it, I respect it, I dealt with it. I will however say that Jack's total murder count this year is up in the high double digits -- these pesky bad guys and red shirts keep getting in his way.

Tracy Morgan on SNL

For the love of God, please be funny tonight...

You know what, Tracy wasn't all that funny unless he was Star Jones or Brain Fellows. And Brian Fellows was only funny because of how awful it was. So, I have no idea if this is going to work out. But my expectations couldn't be lower.

If McGruber shows up, I am immediately out. We get it, Lee Majors is available and will work for free Pepsi and Ludes.

Wednesday night without Lost was not lost

or something clever like that. I really enjoyed 'Life on Mars' last night and have some mixed emotions regarding its cancellation. At this point, its kind of nice to know a show can realized its beginning middle and end without having to stretch the methdology too far. The British version only went 24 episodes or so, so have 22 American episodes is kind of the right idea. If you aren't watching now, come on board for a few more weeks and see how Sam gets out of 1973. This past week's 'swingers' episode was great and made me miss 'Swingtown'.

We watched Christine and Gary Unmarried last night. I fell asleep during Christine and didn't really enjoy Kristen Johnston's performance. I did however think she was great on '3rd Rock From the Sun'. 'Gary Unmarried' cracks me up -- there, I said it.

And like I said last year, Patrick Warburton could read the dictionary and I would stand and applaud, so that is why season 3 (wow) of 'Rules of Engagement' gets a thumbs up from this guy.

Also this, Dwayne Johnson's SNL last week was not funny. Shocker.

I Love '24'

The first 11 minutes were unreal last night. The President was saved thanks to the savvy thinking of Jack Bauer and an unbelievable sacrifice from Bill Buchanan. Rest in Peace Buck, you will be missed. Once Jack took out Juma, I found myself chanting USA back at the screen. I am a loser.

The show is now focused for the next few hours with Bauer on the run, FBI Lady gone rogue (probably), John Voight trying to loosen up his face, Rory Cochrane trying to act, and a new overall threat involving weapons and killing people. Also this, the Prez's daughter is a BITCH. Awesome.

You can still start watching -- its compelling and easy to catch up.

Quick Week In Review

1. HIMYM -- funny, clever, very clever Karate Kid jokes.
2. Big Bang -- funny, clever, show is just hitting its stride
3. 24 -- great 2 hour episode -- I wish we could rock 2 hours every week.
4. Lost -- a very nice change-of-pace episode and a great finish
5. Life On Mars -- another good episode, American's are stupid for not watching these well produced shows, and then they get canceled. Too bad, but at least we will get our proper ending.
6. The Office and 30 Rock -- both good as always, neither was too memorable this week.

Wow, I didn't watch much of anything this week...something must be wrong with me and I will fix it for next week.

I still have to watch Celebrity Apprentice and the Mrs. is excited that 'Rules of Engagement' is back....

The next couple of weeks are all about college hoops -- get fired up.

Lost Must Wait

I am out of town today on business and won't be watching 'Lost' tonight. Of course the promos, teasers, interviews, etc. say that tonight is another game-changer, jaw-dropping whopper of an episode...so here is hoping I can ride this train spoiler free until I get back the midwest tomorrow.

good luck to all of us sharing the same fate.

LIFE ON MARS DEAD

Excuse me from swearing, but Fuck You ABC. There, I said it. I appreciate all you have done for 'Lost', but you bagged 'The Nine' too early and you are now killing 'Mars'....you know what -- just stop doing serialized dramas. You also KILLED 'Dirty, Sexy, Money' and 'Pushing Daises' this year. So yeah, FU.

That being said, I am thankful you told the producers now so that they can tidy up the show and give it a proper ending like it deserves. You didn't immediately kill it, you just didn't renew it. So whatever, I guess I am less pissed then a minute ago. I apologize for swearing at you, I wish I could go back and change it - but it is too late - I said it and it is out there. Now stop pushing serialized dramas on us - you don't have the stomach for them.

FROM TVGUIDE.com today:

ABC has canceled Life on Mars, but will allow the cop drama to complete its full one-season run. The network has opted not to extend the series beyond 17 episodes, according to Variety.

It's not all bad news, though. Rather than wait until May when on-the-bubble shows are typically told whether or not they'll be renewed or canceled, ABC told the producers now, so that they can plan for a proper series finale — a courtesy not extended to the recently unplugged ABC shows Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money and Eli Stone. "We felt it was the right thing to do for the producers and the fans and creatively," ABC Entertainment Group President Steve McPherson told TelevisionWeek. Calls to ABC were not yet returned.

This is particularly important for Mars, as its mysterious premise — an NYPD cop is hit by a car and spontaneously time-travels back to 1973 — requires some explaining. Is Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara) in a coma, at the mercy of supernatural forces or something else entirely?

For now, it seems, the fans will get that answer.

B+S Death Shocker was total BS

I skipped the two hour premiere of Celebrity Apprentice last night to watch the 2-hour game changing watercooler moment episode(s) of Brothers and Sisters.

Someone was supposed to die and the show was to be launched in a new direction. OK, so the new direction is launched:
-Tommy is going to jail
-Ryan has showed
-The Walkers vs. the Harpers is about to get ugly

But who died? Oh yeah, Rob Lowe...he flat lined for five seconds, then was shocked back to life in the ER, had open heart surgery, and was totally fine like 5 minutes later. So yeah, quite the shocking death. Unfortunately it didn't stick and unfortunately the ABC promo department pretty much cast a cloud over what would otherwise have qualified as semi-entertaining if not too over-the-top sappy evening programming with good acting. Instead I am left to wonder what that crappy stunt was all about.

Informercial Hell

My son and daughter can recite pretty much every 'buy one get one free / call now' offer that you can find between episodes of 'Spongebob' on Nickelodeon. Max even told me that I should get the first ever touchscreen BlackBerry from Verizon Wireless and their 3G network -- turns out they sponsor every since Kids OnDemand show...lovely.

We have bought 'Bendaroos' -- don't get them. They did however teach the kids an important lesson about how cool something looks on TV is usually directly proportional to how crappy it is once you get it. Lesson learned. But they still want those pixels that dry and make art, and they still want the Snuggie. Turns out, the Snuggie has its own subculture...check out Richard Roeper's breakdown of the Snuggie:

http://blog.richardroeper.com/?p=489

Great News Fans of Original Programming!!!

From my fave weekly TV Chat on USAToday.com....someone was reading my mind, and the answer is even better...

Toronto, Canada: Hi Robert...I thought that February was sweeps month, when I could see new episodes of shows with special guest stars, but CBS is repeating its Monday lineup for the 2nd week, and ABC and NBC are also repeating shows this week. Have sweeps become a victim of low ratings or the recession?

Robert Bianco: Don't blame the recession; blame the (now delayed) digital transformation. The sweeps were moved from February to March to get them out of the way of the planned February switch to an all digital broadcast system. But the networks know people expect new episodes in February, so they reacted to the switch by spreading a mix of new and old shows over the two month period. That does mean you're seeing more repeats now than you'd normally see, but you'll be seeing more new outings than usual next month, so it all balances out.

Slumdog's Night, Very Classy.

I watched the Oscars the way they are meant to be viewed in 2009 -- in their entirety almost completely in Fast Forward beginning around 9 PM.

I watched the opening number - classy.
I liked the set and the host - classy.
I watched the awards for people - I like famous people.
I watched the funny presenters and the bits and clips -- funny and classy.
I watched the second dance number - classy.
Beyonce - classy.
I watched for Heath Ledger's family - classy.
I watched for Slumdog to win it all so all the kids could come up - classy.
I thought Resse Witherspoon looked very unclassy.
I didn't care for Queen Latifah singing live over the death montage - unclassy.
I only saw one movie nominated for Best Picture -- and it won -- classy.
I will however eventually see Frost/Nixon and Milk and The Wrestler.
Good for Jerry Lews - he is classy.
Saw everything I needed to see and caught up live as we got to Best Actor - classy.

ReRun City

I watched the Badgers dispose of Indiana last night. When I got upstairs I was looking forward to 'The Office' and '30 Rock' -- it is still February sweeps, so I just assumed they would be new. NOPE. Fine, I will go back and watch the back-to-back 'Scrubs' from Tuesday...NOPE...double re-runs. Dah-bull-re-runs.

I guess February isn't a Sweeps month anymore. I didn't get the memo. Well I look forward to watching the premiere of 'Dollhouse' from last week and episode two this evening.

Ratings From Last Night Anyone?

From my friends at TVguide.com as always...

Wednesday's ratings rundown:

8 pm/ET
American Idol cued up an audience of 24.4 million total viewers, up 5 percent from last year's first results show. CBS, which came in second for the hour, saw gains for Old Christine (7.32 mil, +260K) and Gary Unmarried (7.26 mil, +400K).

This week's Lost rehash (5.57 mil) surged 17 percent to best a new Knight Rider (5.49 mil).

9 pm
Criminal Minds drew the most viewers (15 million), but Lost topped the demos. Lost bounced back from last week's "Idol-ized" setback to deliver 11.27 mil — and thus edge out Lie to Me (which dipped 78O thou, to 11.22 mil). Life inched up 440K, to 5.16 mil.

10 pm
As CSI: NY (12.35 million viewers, down 500 thou) and Law & Order (7.15 mil, down 370K) both dropped, Life on Mars saw its audience liven up by some 13 percent, hitting 5.8 mil.

A Couple of LOST Thoughts...

1. Am I allowed to complain about the Oceanic 6's ability to basically teleport back to the island? I mean there probably was no plane crash right? I think the explanation is going to be they were just returned there? And Lapidus is the pilot?
You see, I have more than accepted the ability for an island to move through time and space, but I am unwilling to accept that the Losties could be dropped back there from an overhead airplane -- and into the 1950's no less.

2. Here is what we don't know about our friends as the boarded the plane:
a. Why is Sayid in custody and on that plane?
b. Where is Aaron and why did Kate stash him away?
c. Why is Hurley on the plane? Who told him to come?
d. What the hell happened to Ben?

I want some new answers to these questions....
Local theorist and Lostologist A.K. postulates that the 'business' that Ben needed to attend to, down at the marina, that got him beat up, was his revenge against Charles Widmore...a.k.a killing Penny. He knew she must be in town once he saw Des -- so he found Penny to finish what he told Widmore he was going to do. I assume we'll see Des back on the island soon to avenge her wrongful death. I know it sounds dark, but Ben does hate Widmore, Ben is pretty much evil, and Ben has killed a lot of people including (most likely) Sayid's wife.

Well anyway -- more questions than answers amidst a quick-moving episode with more answers than we are used to. Wrap your head around that. Even when you feel like the show has thrown you a shit-sandwich -- it never ceases to be awesome and I wait patiently each week giving it the benfit of the doubt.

Lost Primer

There is a great website recapping past episodes and trying to set the record straight on theories and clues. That website is called Long Live Locke and I implore you to check it out before tonight's episode. There is also a great, and very spoiler-free interview with Michael Emerson (Ben Linus) here.

I miss 'Fringe' already and it has only been a week. Meanwhile, it seems that February Sweeps is not as fun as it used to be - CBS has already benched HIMYM and Big Bang for the next two weeks in favor of re-runs, so I guess they know something I don't about the value of sweeps.

Speaking of which, little known fact....'Sweeps' months are really only for the local affiliates these days to get their ratings measured for the 10 O'Clock news. Did you know that? All your fave network shows are metered nightly and weekly, but the news ratings in your town, which set advertising rates, are only judged in November, February, and May. The networks recognize the need to help out their local carriers, so they put out their best material during these months so that the eyeballs stayed glued to their stations. During the promos, when your news anchor tells you that there are three restaurants in your town serving spoiled foods, or find out which bus drivers in your district are drunk, you will be sure to tune in at 10. And that my friends, is one to grow on.

I Need To Write More Often..

Every morning I have something to say, but recently ye old client has put down the serious clamps on Blogspot. I am sure there is a way I can email my thoughts to the blog -- I mean I can email my Tweets and I can order a pizza online without having to talk to someone, I am sure I can send a post here -- but no one has told me how. And I am not that patient.

If I did have the power to log on from the world wide leader in medicinal-related payments, I would have said the following:

TUESDAY MORNING:
Wow, Christine Baranski was great in the 'Big Bang Theory' this week and Leonard got some damn close to his goal of bedding Penny...next time he we learn to shut his mouth and let his general geekiness to the talking.

'24' was stellar and awesome per usual, I love this show and this season is going very well. I need Choloe to hurry up and get enaged with the FBI after we figure out who the mole is, because she really needs to kick Janice Gold's ass. Am I right? Can I get an....forget it.

WEDNESDAY MORNING:
'Fringe' is so damn good now, and the mythology is only growing in multiple directions which I love. We have 'The Pattern' and we have 'Oliva has special brain powers' and we have 'Dr. Bishop wrote a crazy future-bible' and we have 'Oliva's step dad is mean' and we have 'what the hell is going on with Peter and Olivia and Oliva's sister'. This show rocks....then we heard the worst 7 words on television:

Fringe will return with new episodes in April.

Thanks FOX, way to build it up and then kill the momentum.

THURSDAY MORNING:
'Lost' is even better than I could have imagined this year, I wish I could just sit down and knock out the whole season at once -- but I cannot wait and I am not disciplined enough.
Here is Doc Jensen's review on EW.com, he is pretty much the nation's #1 LOST expert:
READ IT HERE
I know, it's lazy -- but you should read it. We can break now some conspiracy theories next week.

Did you watch 'Important Things with Dimitri Martin' on Comedy Central like I told you too? Well it was awesome, it was smart, it was clever, it was funny and it reminded me why SNL really sucks. Welcome to my living room Dimitri -- see you next week.

SNL Sucks: Bradley Cooper Edition

Wow. Watched this episode last night mere hours after watching Bradley Cooper on the big screen in 'He's Just Not That Into You...". I am sure his performance was fine, I sort of lost focus after he stripped and bent Scarlett Johannson over his desk.
What? I'm not allowed to enjoy a light romantic comedy? Like that scene wasn't inserted into the film as a thank-you to the husbands and boyfriends of America who get sucked into this movie and then at the end are left defending the male species, their own dating history, and motives within their current relationship? That is a lot to grasp in one night -- so seeing an 80 foot semi-nude ScarJo is sort of a peace offering I suppose.
I do recommend the film however.

So Brad Cooper was obviously excited to be on SNL, but as usual, the show failed on a million levels. Cold Open was fine, not funny ha ha, mostly fun uh huh, uh huh, yep yep, yes, yes...
They tried to give Brad Cooper a monolgue taking advantage of all the times he was caught on tape in the audience of 'Inside the Actors Studio' -- awful.

I am not going to go scence by scene, but we fast forwarded through much of it, painfully, and a little saddened as comedy keeps dying a slow death every week. The bit where the four guys tell gross stories then sing a chorus is always clever -- but not this time. The game show about the host having sex with the contestants wives? Funny for the first minute....
The Today Show skit was brutal. The Digital Short on the boat was....well I don't even know what it was...yeah Andy Samburg, you are on a boat....my god.
The news was pretty good this time around, Seth did a nice job with 'really' and even Keenan Thompson made me laugh. Then throwing it back to a Bjork joke? REALLY Seth, Bjork jokes? Really?
Then the final straw for me was the Johnny Lawrence bad guy talk show...all the makings of a classic...even Sense was behind the camera....and who do they go with? Hans Gruber and a half-ass impression of Glenn Close. I am sure 17 year olds across America were scratching their heads...I was and I grew up with that movie.

WHAT IS GOING TO SAVE COMEDY? From what I am told, its going to be this:
New Comedy Central Show premiering this Wednesday