BREAKING NEWS

Somehow father-in-law parlayed a freezer with an overly loud icemaker into HDTV, Digital Cable, and a DVR. Not sure how it played out, all I know is that the owner of this place felt bad about a couple of things and next thing I knew the TV picture looked a lot clearer. Maybe this guy works for the cable company? Ah....no. I looked at the DVR and it was already 35% full of Disney Channel tweener shows. That pretty much means he went home, ripped his own family room DVR out of the wall, and left the house to the sounds of crying kids who would not be watching Hannah Montana that evening so that his favorite renters here in Florida could rest easier. GOD BLESS AMERICA.
I also told Lauren that if we ever had a rental property, we would not be making renter concessions that involve television-related accessories.
This little change in plans allowed for the Hoffman's to have a wonderful day at the pool followed by a DVR'd Badgers Hoop game where Texas was upset at home by the Cardinal and White. It was awesome, and the cheering came at an audible of zero as Tessa was napping.

MOVIE PICK OF THE DAY: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. It's good, stupid at times, but those times are forgotten because Jenna Fisher from The Office is so smokin hot and John C. Reilley is fantastic and the songs are so well done. It was a really funny and clever film. The scene in India with the Beatles was fantasic. And here is something I might never say again: Tim Meadows was really funny.

Also, the Stripper book is great. Full breakdown coming soon I am sure.

Vacation House TV Breakdown

Living the high life out here in Bonita Springs, FLA for the next 12 days. Thats right, 12 days. Don't even think of robbing my casa though, I got 2 security systems, neighbors on the lookout, and absolutely nothing worth taking anyway.

The in-laws rented a place in a compound community half way between Fort Myers and Naples. I think this location would be useful for me if say I wanted to finally make it out to Spring Training. Someday that will happen I hope. For now, it will have to serve as my escape from crappy weather.

Its new construction so my hope was that it would have wireless internet and perhaps some decent televisions. It was happily correct on both accounts.

The one in my room is about 9 inches, and the TV is 12 (hey-oh)...I won't be watching that set. I brought a book and am going to try to re-teach myself how to read. In the living room we have a nice Vizio HD 46" flat panel -- bingo. ONE FUCKING PROBLEM -- only basic cable. Who am I, Dave Cecchi?

HDTV + Basic Cable = distorted pixilated basic cable with about 45 channels and no on-screen programming guide, no pause, no rewind...its like living in 2003 all over again and I am scared. How did people used to do it?
I am kidding of course, I am going to make it. I'm just saying, if you're going to go 75%, finish the frickin job compound condo owner.

Also this - haven't watched any TV yet because its 80 and awesome.
Final random thought of the holiday season -- the more time I spend using the pause and rewind feature on the DVR, the more I expect to be able to use it in other places in life. Sometimes I would like to playback something I heard on the radio or something the Mrs. said because I wasn't listening. I am not getting all 'bad Adam Sandler movie about a guy with a remote control whose name I can't remember...Click, yes, thats it', this is for real -- a lot of times my initial reaction is to want to do that, and then I realize I can't. Stupid habits.

Safe new years to all...enjoy the 900 syndicated 2007 year in review shows between now and next Tuesday. I will be rocking it at the Outback Bowl on new years day Wisco style.

New Obsession

My new obession for this vacation and holiday break is going to be Diablo Cody. Why not. I like Minneapolis, I like strippers, I like books, I like movies, and I like very witty pop-culture-laden-80s-reference-driven writing. So why not get into this whole thing while 'Juno' makes its rounds as the best movie of 2007 according to a lot of people, many of which say things like that for a living.
Do I want a sleazy guy looking for porn to stumble upon my blog and then get me a book deal like six months later and then get me a movie where my first screenplay gets made and almost zero changes are made to the original script? Um, yes.
But I doubt this will be happening anytime soon, and if you've read some of her work lately you would know the press tour has forced her from any good, solid TV watching.
So all that being said, I am running through her past postings and I am fascinated by her wit and direct writing style. So, I will go read her book at the pool in Florida and see the movie one night when the in-laws let me out. And then I will tell people it was a good book and a good movie and I will tell people that she wrote the movie in the Target by my house -- because she wrote the movie in a Starbucks within a suburban Target in Minneapolis in 2006 and I have to assume that my odds are pretty good that it was Plymouth Super Target -- so I am just going to go with that. Then I will come home, write about it a little, and then move on. Such is life. Next...

Also this...T-Jax blows and I don't like when people say that he is still learning on the job so he should be cut a break. Of course he is learning on the job, that doesn't change the fact that he makes terrible decisions, has shitty mechanics, and isn't ready to take his team to the next level and would get us crushed in a playoff game. This town is always about 'next year' and 'the future' and 'winning the right way'. I was too for a long time. Now I would just like to win, thank you. Its been 16 years thank you very much since this town 'won' anything significantly professionally. And never if you just count sports that involve balls made of pigs. I think Chilly, Sid, and the Twins turned us into those people - its a defense mechanism to help us deal with Luis Castillo trades mid-season and the dumping of Garnett for a solid youngster who no one taught to play defense yet. I digress I guess.
But know this, after two straight national TV night games, the nation is laughing at us and wondering when Adrian Peterson will sign with the Patriots.

Midseason Shows...

What's coming up after the holidays in this strike-driven TV universe?

Our friends at TVGUIDE.com would love to tell you all about your options:

CLICK HERE

For you Idol Dorks -- here is the schedule you need to populate your BlackBerry calendars with. Don't forget to set the 15 minute reminder...

Tuesday, Jan. 15, and Wednesday, Jan. 16: Two-part season premiere

Jan. 22, 23, 29 and 30, Feb. 5 and 6: Audition episodes

Feb. 13: Hollywood round, Part 2 (top 24 announced)

Feb. 21: First results show (two males, two females booted)

March 6: Results show (top 12 revealed)

Tis the Season...

There are plenty of blogs out there that blog about other blogs. How meta can you get? This is someone elses bit that I am borrowing for the opener, but my point here is that I am about to tell you again that this blog post is about how hard it is to post when there is very little to blog about.
How would the politicos and the Drudges of the world fill interweb space if politics went on strike or all major celebs/politicans actually didn't break the law so often? They wouldn't. They would write posts that say, "I wish I had something to say but unfortunately Washington is on strike and no congressmen were involved in the knocking up of Jamie Lynn Spears...

Wait! A topic I can run with, and I bet no one has commented on her pregnancy yet on the internet. It's good to the be the first. Basically my take comes down to this - Lauren told me at first that she just figured this story would go away. I asked her to name another A,B,C, or even D list teen celeb who got knocked up and DECIDED TO KEEP IT! I have no doubts that the young Hollywood A-list has terminated several pregnancies to keep reputations and careers moving forward...I am just saying in this case, you already have a sterotypical Southern Trailer Trash family taking it to a whole 'nother level - down to the fact that the father is a 19 year old pipelayer, son of a mill worker and she wants to raise the kid in Louisiana so it will have a 'normal life'. I suppose that is better than the way her sister is (is not) raising her children. But who am I to give parenting advice. My kids are watching Scooby Doo and the highlight of their week was going to the movies to see Chimpmunks fart on people and poop on the couch.

Gossip Girl is still on - so we had something original to watch this week. As stated here earlier, each week: same show, different outfits.

My people in the reality TV world are telling me that Real Housewives is brutal this year and Lauren hasn't been watching Project Runway so I can't speak to that one even third-hand at this point.

American Gladiators is about to begin on NBC -- I highly recommend you spent about 4 miunutes on their website (nbc.com) and check out the new gladiators and their names. It is almost too cute for words that they brought this show back.

Cashmiere Mafia vs. Lipstick Jungle. I am actually going to watch both of these shows so I can fairly compare and contrast them for you right here in this space EVERY WEEK. Or once maybe. But since (as mentioned before) there is very little to watch, I may have to sink down into these programs.

Lost will be back for 8 episodes toward the end of January - thank god.

Normally I watch about 16 hours of college basketball per week too, but with no BIG 10 NETWORK on Comcast, I am nominiating this to be the worst TV period ever in the history of mankind since or at least since Johnny left to let that douchebag Leno take over. Speaking of which - Leno comes back sans writers after the new year. Maybe he will be funnier when he is forced to write his own material like he was in the early 80's when he was very, very funny.

merryludacrismas everyone.

30 Rocked

I have heard mixed reviews today of last night's 30 Rock. I am giving it a thumbs up. First of all, I will be wishing everyone a very merry Ludachristmas from now on, and I love Jack's mom. Her loving dispproval is perfect and who doesn't love the talented Elaine Strich?
Lemon's parents on the other hand? Cute. It was a cute bit. And Liz's comment that its been smooth sailing since Carter left office and Jack quickly agreeing was well played. I also loved all the Cherie/writers banter about the holiday party. If you are a Kenneth hater, then I can see where this show went south for you. If you enjoy Kenneth, then you probably agree that it was a pretty good holiday episode.
I am sure we can all agree though that the 30 Rock American Express funtime commercials blow and are not funny. Points for trying the integrated marketing approach...Negative points because they aren't funny.

Timely and Timeless

There has been nothing to watch. Literally. Save for ESPN and Sunday football, there has not been much to look forward to. Lauren and I have kncked out about 4 episodes of 'Las Vegas'. That show is like Chineese Food -- goes down quick and easy and 30 minutes later you want something else. Tom Selleck is on now and he pretty much brings absolutely nothing to the table. There was an episode featuring a Bar Matizvah party, and I think the name of the family was the STEREOTYPESTEINS from New York. My god was it annoying bordering on offensive at times. We also paused the DVR to deduce that since they were checking in the hotel at 8 AM on a Saturday morning according to the show's timeline, then they must have caught that very popular 3 AM flight out of La Guardia on a Friday night. Nice job writers.

Looks like we have one 30 Rock left on Thursday, and then whatever the networks have left, or have been saving, will make its appearance in 2008. So goodbye fall TV season, we hardly knew ye. Perhaps I will get bored one afternoon and recap, we shall see.

'How I Met Your Mother' was new last night, and it was great (as usual) - and timely! I have been yearning for something to watch that doesn't involve David Caruso, Tom Selleck or Jason Lee. That show has outdone itself this year in the clever department and last night was a great example. Taking us from the present day to earlier this year to last year to the year before in 4 stories was handled flawlessly and all the stories were entertaining. And as usual, Barney kept the show moving with another of his sayings/rules/situations. Well done CBS for giving this show another chance -- this third season has been its best so far.

Final TV thought...my son has a new fascination. Scooby Doo. It started with two books, one about Scooby and one about Batman. When I told him that I remember they met on TV once, he implored me to find it. As luck would have it, Cartoon Network shows Scooby Doo about 34 times per day, so it didn't take much searcing to find the old classic, 'Scooby Doo Meets Batman and Robin'. It was just as I remembered it too, and it all came rushing back so fast - especially after we watched it for a 22nd time this week. It was a like an old pair of shoes or finding an old yearbook that jogged the memory. I pictured myself coming home from school, turining on good old channel 29, adjusting the antenna, and watching the only cartoon that was on at the time - right before Gilligans Island was starting. Those were the days -- less choices so more appreciation of what was available.
Well the kicker here is that this episode of Scooby is from 1972 -- originally aired 2 years before my birth, and 35 years later is as entertaining and relevant as it was then. The clothes were odd (we're still not wearing ascots), but the story of good and evil rings true and the Mystery Machine is never out of place. We have been watching more episodes now, some that date back to 1969, and many whose plots I remember vividly once the show gets going. Its amazing -- to Max, it might as well have been made yesterday and its no different to him than Shrek or any of that drek (rhyme) on Noggin. I guess Scooby Doo is in fact the true defintion of 'timeless'

Not Much To Say...

Not a lot going on in the TV world right now to write about. The strike is still going which means we will get 8 episodes of Lost this year, no 24, and if this thing keeps on going into January - most likely we won't have a fall season in the fall.

I was not feeling all that well this week so I was home for 1.5 days. I did catch up on 10 episodes of 'My Name is Earl'. It's a clever show. It goes by quickly and it's very well acted. The funny thing is, Jamie Pressly is the best part of that show, and just a few short years ago I thought of her as a worthless ex-playboy centerfold who only did crappy B-Movies like 'Poison Ivy 2' and made very anti-semetic cracks on the Howard Stern show. I think she is probably still all of those things, but she is also fabulous and hillarious as Joy and makes that show worth watching (along with Randy and Darnell).

I also watched about 5 episodes of 'CSI: Miami' because they are all available in Comcast On-Demand. This show is fucking terrible. Its shot in bright pastel hues, David Carruso is ridiculous, and you don't even get to help solve the crime as they just drop new evidence in every 10 minutes and then wrap up the case. Half of the show is spent showing someone working in the lab to techno music and odd camera angles and split screens for the sake of odd camera angles and split screens. What a stupid show. No more for me.

Gossip Girl was good again last night -- it seems to be a re-hash of the same show every week more or less, but its fun to watch and pretty harmless. For escapism I give it a solid 10.

We do have new Scrubs and 30 Rock tonight -- so enjoy them while you can!!!

30 Rocks Scrub Rodgers

And so the headline explains my Thursday night....

Packers v. Cowboys: When it was 27-10 and old man Favre went down, it looked like the game was over and the $5.99 I paid for NFL network for the night would be for naught. But then the Aaron Rodgers audtion tape started and the next thing you know -- it's a great game, down to the end. From a fantasy standpoint the game was a disaster for me in all 3 leagues I play in, but it was some solid football.
If you are a Packer fan, you have to be psyched that even though you lost, you saw your future it was pretty darn good. I think the kids call that a moral victory.
Quick note on Bryant Gumble -- he sucks. Plain and simple, and I am not alone on this. Actually, I would like to meet someone who thinks he does a good job at play-by-play. Are there any? He is so fucking terrible its almost hard to watch. Thank goodness for Cris Collinsworth. NFL Network has to make a change. All 13 people who were able to see the game will agree with me.

Scrubs: Great episode, love giant black doctor. And the whole bit with JD and Turk and their kids was outstanding. I have found myself doing similar things when my kids were infants, so it was fun to watch on television. Catch it if you can.

30 Rock: As usual, sheer genuis and pretty damn funny too. Comparing the mess in Iraq with taking over a little league team was very well done, and Kenneth and Tracy were great. I love Alec Baldwin more and more every week.

A loyal reader passed along this link to me -- its about the 30 Rock reference to Verizon product placement from a few weeks ago. Turns out, Verizon liked it a lot.


CLICK HERE

Bad Blogger...

How dare me. I think I have upset my fanbase of 2 by not posting in almost two weeks. The holidays get tough for me. My real father was killed by a wild turkey in Abbas Abbera in 1972 and its very tramautic for all of us still.

Anyway, the show must go on (at least until we run out of new ones soon).
This TV season, strike or not, has been amazing in terms of consective new episodes. Several shows I watch how gone re-run free since late September, that is insane. Because the season has been starting toward the end of September and not the beginning, and November is sweeps -- in most cases you seem to get 8 or 9 shows in a row. Good times, but I can't really catch up on anything else.
Once the strike and the new year hit home, I do have every episode of DirtySexyMoney, Earl, Las Vegas, Chuck, and Pushing Dasies ready to go. I am actually looking forward to it.

Most recently watched at the Hoffman house were three episodes of 'Gossip Girl' and we are loving it right now. The Thanksgiving debacle was a pleasure to watch unfold as Dan and Serena learned of their parent's past history. That was good stuff. I read a good interview with Josh Schwartz on TVguide.com where he talks about how much this show differs from the O.C. and how funny it is to him that the 'teen drama' that the Gossip Girl cast grew up on was the O.C. -- I am getting old I think. Even Josh Schwartz is like 22 years old and running two network shows right now (he also produces Chuck). Long story longer...if you are or were watching Gossip Girl, its come back pretty strong and been a good watch.

The Thanksgiving episode, or should I say, Slapsgiving episode of HIMYM was fantastic. I also enjoyed the 'yips' episode this week as Barney made a fool of himself at the Victoria Secret party. Reminded me of me on my best day unfortunately. That show has been A+ all year and I hope people are watching..if not, since they have run 9 in a row, the reruns will be coming soon.
I still find Big Bang Theory annoying, but its watchable when you have 22 minutes to kill and the critics seem to love it, so its for sure sticking around.

Bones is my favorite crime procedural, but you already knew that. The last two episodes - the continuation of the Gormagon serial killer story line and the Christmas episode were both really fun, funny, and touching too. I really like the way this show is paced, written, and acted. Check it out please if you have not -- it looks like Bones will be in reruns until January or later...I have also heared rumors of FOX moving it to Friday night for some reason. Stupid FOX. Settle the strike, get Jack Bauer back to work, and keep Bones on Tuesday or Wednesday where people will find it (before Idol).

30 Rock is new tonight..yeah! The Office is closed for the time being, so as far as brilliant comedy goes, this is it for awhile...and Scrubs too of course.

You know your hair is your 'head suit'

I laughed at The Office more thinking about it then I did while watching it. That seems to happen a lot. Someone should come up with a name for that phoenomenon. Now I have to go back and watch it again - the deposition was excellent and the whole 'whose on first/that's what she said' bit was very well done. Also well done is everything that happens between Toby and Michael.

30 Rock was epic end-to-end. I love you Tina Fey. I used to hate you so much and your smug looks into the camera on SNL what with your snarky news casting. And then you come along and steal my heart with the smartest and funniest sitcom since maybe ever. Between The Office, 30 Rock, and Scrubs - there has never been 90 more consecultively creative minutes in television history. Quote me, book it, try to prove otherwise.

Quick hit thoughts from 30 Rock (sorry Peter King):
- The Head Suit bit
- Fred Armison's guest shot as terrorist/Reality TV Wannabe
- The opening scene with the Rerun dance
- Edie Falco's guest shot as CC (D-Vermont)
- Kenneth's killer ape
- The Verizon bit **

**Speaking of the Verizon bit, I think we have a winner of the Op-Ed TV 2007 Self Reflexive TV Moments Award. When Tina Fey stared down the camera Zach Morris style and asked Verizon for her money - that was favorite moment of 2007 I think. I don't even know what happened, but I can guess a product placement deal went bad and Fey decided to stick it to Verizon in the most creative way possible. It was great and fit in perfectly with the show - it wasn't even a strech.

Some other notes:
-Scrubs was good as usual. It's always good. That is probably the best way to describe it. Funny, clever, interesting, thought provoking. Its never awesome, killer, hillarios, side-splitting, cutting, or buzz-worthy -- its just plain good. The sad thing is, if the strike doesn't end soon -- Scrubs will probably never see the series finale it deserves.

I see some shows are now telling their actors that they are on half-pay leave. This means 5 weeks from now their deals end, they get fired, or the studio has to pay them to stay on within their contracts and just sit and wait. Fun. Meanwhile, there is no end in site. Good news for me -- I still haven't started CHUCK, DIRTY SEXY MONEY, PUSHING DASIES, and have 4 GOSSIP GIRLS all in the hopper. SWEET FOR ME.

Have a good Thanksgiving everyone -- this guy is on hiatus....

Ladies Night

A couple random thoughts from this past weekend...

A plug for 'Heidi's', a new restaurant on 50th and Bryant owned by my buddy's sister and her chef husband Stuart Woodman. His food is fantastic and the restaurant is really cute, and pretty much a complete and total 180 from the last place - Five - which was big, loud, splashy and expensive. 'Heidi's' food was so good, so well priced for a gourmet meal, and a great experience. End of plug.

Much like Heroes second season, Desperate Housewives second season, and Lost's second season - the sequel to 'Adrian Peterson runs all over everyone and the Vikings dominate' was very disappointing on Sunday. They need new writers.

There is a lot to read on the Writers Strike if you are interested. Here are two good links:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2007-11-11-strike-bianco_N.htm

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/11/opinion/11lindelof.html?_r=1&oref=slogin


We watched DH and B+S last night. They both dealt with drug addiction and confrontation. One of them involved puking and shaking and withdrawl...oh wait, that was me watching this crap.
I swear to god B+S did a surprise intervention with yelling episode last year -- oh well, whatever works I guess. At this point, I would just like all of them to shut up and have a normal day. In THREE episodes we have seen a divorce and custody battle play out and then get reversed, a husband start and end an affair, a drug addiction start and end, a pregnancy followed by a miscarriage, a gay relationship turn toward an affair, and a closeted homosexual of 40+ years come out of the closet to his sister. Did I catch it all? I think so.

I am all caught up on my Law and Order:SVU in preparation for the sweeps stunt of the decade tomorrow night. If the previews didn't ruin it for you, then I am not going to. You can go in blind.

The FX show Damages was just renewed for 2 more 13-episode seasons.

In case you didn't know, the writers strike does not affect cartoons. Isn't that odd -- different union.

I miss Jon Stewart and Colbert -- come back soon. Although per the articles above, it doesn't seem all that likely.

The Schwimmer Redemption

I played in a poker game last night in St. Paul until 11:30 PM. I won, so that was a nice change of pace. Anyway, I didn’t get home until after 12 but still felt a yearning to blow my Friday completely by watching both The Office and 30 Rock.

I think workbuddy.cecchi said it best when he pointed out a while back that “The Office isn’t The Office when they leave the office”. He never said it so eloquently, but the point is the same. Michael Scott alone in the woods – cute. Get back to work. Dwight cooking birds eggs direct from a nest during NBC’s environment week – ironic and disgusting at the same time. Get back to work. Jim realizing he turned into Michael for a day – scary. I will need to watch this episode again as I am pretty sure it probably had more funny lines and I would have picked them up had I not been half-asleep watching it in bed with the volume on low.

I don’t hear very well anymore – I mowed a lot of lawns growing up.

Have I mentioned before how awesome 30 Rock is. It lived up to its hype this week. Taking NBC’s ‘green’ mandate and shoving it back up their asses but still getting the message across was a thing of beauty. It really was. The Al Gore bit was very well played, and Schwimmer did a great job.

SIDEBAR: One time when I was living in Chicago I was waiting for my table at Mia Francesca, a little Italian place about a block from my crib, that doesn’t take reservations. Lauren and I had been waiting about 30 minutes and were up next for a table. But shitbag Schwimmer walks in with a date and gets my table. 15 minutes later we get a table and it happens to be next to that no-talent whining hack. Needless to say I did nothing, said nothing, and just listened to his mindless conversation for the remainder of the meal – let me tell you ladies, he’s not that interesting. I think he and Lauren might have made out a little though when I went to the bathroom. Schwims and I have been on the outs ever since. Until last night.

So I loved 30 Rock. Jack McBreyer is fantastic as Kenneth – I don’t think I could picture anyone else knocking out that role quite like he does. The Pop Tart bit was funny, the party storyline was funny and well executed, and Greenzo was fantastic. Well played Tina Fey and NBC. NOW GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK SO I DON’T HAVE TO WATCH RERUNS ALL WINTER LONG.

Sorry, that was selfish. I understand where the writers are coming from. I know my company always compensates me every time they use one of my templates or presentations beyond its original purpose. I know that the first thing they think of when one of my ideas is repackaged is to send me some money as a thank you – we all share in those profits together. Oh wait, we don’t, it’s how it works. We whore ourselves for a paycheck, hopefully enjoy what we do, and understand that we actually have no true intellectual property once we sign a contract with someone and they can do what they want with it. It’s called capitalism. If you don’t like it, don’t sign the contract.

COUNTERPOINT: I wrote it for the purposes of television broadcast and now you are using it online, and in DVDs, and on phones, and in bathroom stalls, and in-flight programming, and iTunes and whatnot - -and all the while selling ads each and every time. Give me a cut will ya? This business doesn’t work like ‘other’ businesses – the creative process is handled differently and people need to respect that. We get paid to write and then live on the royalties that come from reruns and syndication – we deserve our cut of the new media ventures as well, not just the networks.

I heard that NBC is optioning a YouTube show called ‘Quarter Life’. Please get back to work.

What are they striking over?

this clip brought to you direct from the Picket Line from Kelly, Toby, and Ryan from The Office.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT

watch this -- it is 2 minutes.

Mad Men Marathon

We had about 3 or 4 episodes of Mad Men left to go from this summer/fall and they were removed from the DVR because they can also be found in OnDemand. Well last night turned into a major fire drill. I randomly checked to see how many episodes we had left -- which was 3 -- and found out they would be coming off OnDemand on the 8th. That would be today.
I sounded the emergency television signal and Lauren immediately came running to the family room with sodas and assorted snacks from Trader Joes. Needless to say, we did it. Thank god. We made it and before the clock hit midnight. What a victory for the little guy.
Mad Men is a fantastic show. If they rerun it or it comes to DVD, you should watch it.
Last night, we saw Kennedy come from behind and beat Nixon. I already knew that was going to happen due to some early public school education, but it was still very exciting. Also Don Draper showed us how the 'old-fashioned' slide projector may have been named the 'Carousel' during an awesome pitch to the Kodak company.

I watched Big Bang Theory again this week -- those guys are way to whiny and annoying for this show to have any legs. They are really going to have to tone down the dork if I am going to keep watching. That scene in the Chineese Restaurant was so difficult to watch as Sheldon tried to break down how they were going to order and split the dumplings when there were only 3 people at the table.

OP-EDTV 'THAT GUY' AWARD WINNER
The first ever award goes to....James Hong
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393222/

You know James as 'that Chineese guy who plays the old Chineese guy' in pretty much every TV show and movie ever made. He was the waiter this week on Big Bang Theory in the Chineese restaurant -- not to be confused with his epic role as the host at the Chineese Restaurant in the famous episode of Seinfeld.........'Cartright 4'
It looks like James has been busy playing Chineese restaurant employees, Chineese bad guys, and Chineese doctors.
Congrats to James Hong.

What was your favorite James Hong role? Let us know....

Perspective

The everyday things in life can really work you up. But it is an event like a Hollywood writers strike that really helps put things in perspective. I mean Pakistan has no constitution, Turkey is in a border battle that is much different than a Badger-Gopher game, we still seem to be fighting a war in Iraq (according to some newspapers), and Britney Spears has been granted some visitation with the children – but when the future of 24, Lost, and the first half of 2008 original programming are threatened, you really need to sit down and take a look around.

I am not going to blog about the overall impact network-by-network, TV Guide already did it. They pay people to do things like that. Then I get to tell you where to find it. Like right here: http://community.tvguide.com/blog/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Strike-Watch-Season/800059822

This strike will not affect the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, no one has been writing jokes for that show in about 10 years. Hey-oh. I would cross the picket line by the way if they needed some help on The Daily Show, The Office, 30 Rock, Colbert Report, 24, or Lost. I am not saying they are going to come calling, I am just saying that I would cross. Do you think they will call? I once wrote a 10 minute newscast in 5^th grade, but it killed. I also once wrote the first 10 minutes of the movie I am never going to make. But its awesome. Of course when I wrote it, I had the role of the 17 year star slated for James VanDerBeek, so you know – it’s collecting some dust. Just like James. Hey-Oh. Hire me, seriously.

Speaking of collecting dust, Lauren was shocked that Danny Glover would be on ‘Brothers and Sisters’ last night. Yeah I know, I am surprised his schedule opened up. Between getting ignored by racist cab drivers and making absolutely crazy political statements seen as anti-American, he has been super busy waiting by the phone for Mel Gibson to call. Unfortunately these days, that call won’t be about Lethal Weapon 6, but a need for bail money, or the answer to his anti-Semitic crossword puzzle.

“What’s a 4 letter word for a Jew starting with K?”

“Oh that’s right…‘Kyle’. The cute Jewish kid from South Park”

Hey-Oh. Seriously, call me.

This just in, one of the best reasons to watch Brothers and Sisters, Emily Van Camp, looks like complete crap with that new haircut which is all bangs and no face. Seriously, WTF?

SUBJECT CHANGE: I have been told this season of South Park is out of control funny and super-offensive. I will try to find some time to check it out. I believe there have been several references to the rape of Strawberry Shortcake. So if you are into clever jokes about molesting children’s characters, I guess this is the season you have been waiting for.

I also enjoyed that episode of 'Adrian Peterson single handedly dismantles the San Diego Chargers and their 7^th ranked run defense'. It was a good show. Started slowly but really picked up midway through. I am hoping for a sequel.

The rumor is that Thursday night’s 30 Rock is about as good as any episode has ever been. The critics loved it. So, the bar has been raised. Sorry to raise your expectations, but aren’t you excited now?

And also - call me.

Thursday Night Recap

I will let it speak for itself...

Michael Scott: You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is part of what makes this branch extraordinary. The blusy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, the smile, those big watery red eyes. I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left

Oscar: Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.

Michael Scott: Yeah. We all want money. But there is none in the budget. So. Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that.

Dwight Schrute: I think I cut my penis on the lid!

Dwight Schrute: The eyes are the groin of the head.

Rants from a Thursday Post-Lunch Food Coma

I turned on NBC’s Phenomenon last night but got confused – where is John Travolta and Forrest Whitaker?

Brothers and Sisters is quickly becoming a fast-forward show for me. I get it, I get it – predictable drama, banter-banter, lets move on. I am one episode behind, and Calista Flockhart might be pregnant per the previews for this week – I can’t believe I was able to go to bed with all the tension mounting.

Someone mentioned to me that Curb Your Enthusiasm is beginning to feel like a Seinfeld rerun at this point. Like they know they’ve seen it before and plots are becoming oddly familiar. I’ll be honest, I don’t see – but I was intrigued by the theory. Here is another theory for you to ponder:

Seinfeld enthusiast Scott R. of Wayzata believes that Seinfeld reruns are cut up so that the primary and secondary stories are mixed to keep episodes interesting. Of course Scott R. is just kidding, but how many times have you found yourself saying, “I didn’t realize THAT happened in this episode too..”

No 30 Rock this evening. You see, Sweeps Month starts tonight and that means NBC has to fake its way through the next 30 days in order to show advertisers that their viewership is higher than it really is so they can sell ad space at a higher rate.

I don’t have a lot of inside baseball on this process, but I know some of my readers do, so any comments on this would be great. Basically, I don’t get how a network can show (for example) a Victoria’s Secret Strip show in place of the usual Ghost Whisperer and then claim that 30 million people watch CBS on Friday night therefore the rates can be higher – who is fooled by this? If I am Proctor and Gamble and I want to buy space for 30 Rock, I am just going to look at the average audience size for my demographic across the whole year and decide what its worth – call me an advertising major from UW-Madison who got an A in Don Stoffles class on advertising demographics, but it seems pretty obvious.

That being said, most of the country is pretty stupid and can relate better to Earl, so he gets an hour while Jack Donaghy and his Emmy for best comedy sit this one out.

The writers might go on strike tomorrow – this is what I am calling BLACK FRIDAY. If they shut down, we are all screwed. What are we supposed to do? Oh yeah, live sports, re-runs, and we’ll only have tons and tons of shows on DVD we’ve never seen, shows from the past we never caught now out on DVD, and non-scripted programming for the 7 remaining reality TV fans--- what will we do?

There is also a 90% chance that old scripts once discarded and TV pilots burned off might make their way into your living rooms soon. Now that will be the real disaster. But in my house, as long as DJ Lance with the cast of Yo Gabba Gabba and the Higglytown Heroes don’t go on strike, we’ll be fine.

Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect

Seriously, this season of How I Met Your Mother has been outstanding. Marshall being seduced by a potential employer and the porn convention episode this past week featuring ‘the other Ted Mosby’ was excellent. Even all the double entendres were well played. If you are not watching this show, perhaps you should be. It is 22 minutes a week of solid 20/30-something entertainment. You have 22 minutes don’t you? Find it.

We have been talking a lot on this blog – and by we I mean me – about great self reflexive moments in television. This year alone we have had Carrie Fisher busting out Star Wars lines, and Jack Donaghy talking about his cousin Tim. And now comes this past week’s episode of Las Vegas. Now that Tom Selleck is running the Montecito, it only made sense that when his poker buddies showed up for the weekend that it would be his old castmates from Magnum. To make matters even more entertaining, the back story of how they made their money was selling a helicopter company. BAM. Good times.

I said I was done reviewing Rules of Engagement because it’s always the same. Well this week was no exception. I love Patrick Warburton, and his drunk rendition of ‘Get Into My Car’ was too good. As was the line:

“I can’t help it, she downloaded these ringtones into my phone”

“Well, see if you can download some nads into your pants”

More later…

NBC.com presents: How to Not Do Work Today

So I went their website today to see if I could watch me some Jack Donaghy highlights from last night. Low and behold, the brass at the Peacock were already well aware of the genius that was Tracy Jordan's therapy session and wrapped it up in a nice two minute video for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/#mea=172124

While you are there, feel free to check out the 35 other 2 minute 30 Rock clips they have thrown together...including an awesomely akward and just slightly explotative video of Cherie trying on halloween costomes for Kenneth - made especially for the website. When your ratings are in the can and your network is fighting to be relevant, that's when the real creativity comes out. Here is to hoping they never get back to #1.

Break Me Off a Piece of That.....

As good as it gets I think. Write down the date somewhere.
The Office and 30 Rock gave their two best performances of the year last night. I didn't get to Scrubs yet and I am sure Earl was very creative or something like that, but all in all, this is by far the best Must-See Comedy lineup across the board ever.
Somewhere Jonathan Silverman, Breckin Meyer, Brooke Shields, Kirsty Alley, Christina Applegate and 100 other brutal excuses for Thursday sitcom stars are wondering what went wrong. Although kudos to Applegate for getting her show picked up for the whole year by ABC - I won't be watching it, I prefer my Christina Applegate young, dumb, slutty, and poor - and I plan to keep it that way.

THE OFFICE
"We don't want to waste your time Michael"
"Don't worry, I don't get paid by the hour. I get paid by the year"

Throw that in with Dwight Shelman's second-second life, break me off a piece of that , Michael shouting out 'Light it Up Phyllis!', Darryl and team's awesome song/harmony, Michael's final commerical (with Kelly in India and Stanley as a prisoner) and it was just awesome. Awesome.

30 ROCK
I am getting to old to remember lines from all these shows, but this episode deserves a second look (and maybe a 3rd). All I am going to say is that if you didn't respect Alec Baldwin's work before this episode...well, I don't think it gets any better than Jack Donaghy helping Tracy with his daddy issues. Oh.My.God.

I have been told I missed some old Star Wars lines from guest-star Carrie Fisher like 'Save me Liz Lemon, you are my only hope' - which is funny because I just ranted to you earlier this week about how much I love that self reflexivity crap. Huh, looks like I was too caught up in everything else to even notice. That is how well done 30 Rock is. GE Followship Award..good stuff.

America is Sick...

Seriously, I watched the first three SVU episodes this season and I am offically disgusted. Maybe it is because my kids are a little older and I feel vulnerable as a parent, or maybe its that I am getting older and my tastes are changing, but suddenly sitting down to a 60 minute rape/incest/molestation/beating/torture/muder isn't doing it for me anymore. Everytime its over I just want to cry or re-enact the Jim Carey shower scene from Ace Ventura (which he pulled from the movie where that chick turns out to be a dude).

And here is the worst part - and don't worry America I am not judging you - ok, I am. But if you take this show, and throw in Numbers, Criminal Minds, and at least 2 of the remaining CSI-type shows each week - they all do boffo ratings, and they are all gross murders. Why is this so appealing to us? I am no shrink, but maybe we enjoy it because the crime is always solved and the bad guy always goes down -- but honestly, the killings get worse and more graphic every week.
I read an article which says from the censors standpoint, you can show more skin on TV with a dead woman than a live one - -and that is why a lot of these shows go with the half-naked prostitute corpse routine -- its sexy television. Wha? Excuse me why I hurl.

Moving on....

Gossip Girl. First three episodes great. Last three episodes S.L.O.Wwwwwww. Let's get a move on folks....
I am hearing the same thing for Reaper - I have them all TIVO'd, but every review says it lost steam after the first episode and its very boring. So at this time, Reaper is on hold.
'Back to You' got picked up for the whole season, so now Kelsey Grammer can afford to crash another six figure sports car into a wall.
'Big Bang Theory' officially sucks. As predicted, the same joke is played for yucks over and over and over again. But you know who finds this show funny? The laughtrack. I saw an episode that went down the double entandre path of 'sticking your bow in my cello' and 'I love your fingering'...are we really doing that on CBS? The home of Murder She Wrote?
'HIMYM" was solid again this week. We learned about the scale Barney uses to judge women on their crazy vs. hot quotient. That was very well played. He named his crazy scale after a girl named Mendoza - I thought that was funny and explained it to Lauren. She almost found it clever.
'Rules of Engagement' - I am not going to review this show anymore. Here is my final review and it goes for all episodes going forward:
David Spade as the single guy who gets all the chicks: still not buying it.
Oliver Hudson and the chick that plays his fiance: neither can act or have comic timing.
Patrick Warburton: one of the best sitcom actors of our time hands down -- can deliver even the dumbest line and make it sound funny. He kills me.

OFFICE TONIGHT AND THE RETURN OF SCRUBS!!!!!

3 Episode Waiting Period

With the advent of the Tivo/FauxVo/DVR comes the concept of waiting on high-concept shows. Waiting to see if they find an audience, waiting to see if they find a creative direction, and waiting to see whether or not the show is a go. If you were like me, then you got burned on 'Eyes', 'Reunion', and 'The Nine' in recent years. All three were good shows, all three had serious potential, and all three were yanked before they made it to Thanksgiving. WTF?
Remember 'Emily's Reasons Why Not'? Do you? One episode last year and it got the hook. I just don't get how a network can put in all that time and effort and money and give a show less than a month to find its way. Cheers was the lowest rated TV show on the Neilsons after its first year. Seinfeld was basically cancelled and sent to burn-off over the summer before people found it. Sometimes I wish they would just wait and see. The money has been spent and the marketing effort put forth - just relax and let it play out. Kind of like the Vikings with Tavaris Jackson -- ok, bad example.
Enter DVR and the '3 Episode Rule'. Just let them collect, see how it goes with the critics, ratings, and word of mouth - and if it makes it to four shows, then enjoy your mini- marathon!!! Good times for all.
Why do I bring this up now? CBS cancelled Viva Laughlin after 2 episodes in different time slots. High concept? Yes. Silly premise? Yes. But did you even give it a chance to catch on? No.

Weekend Rewind

At this point, I am like a political blogger not watching debates. I am a restaurant reviewer who has been making his own dinner, I am a gardener who put a sport court in the backyard, I am an auto racing writer on a bike ride.

I am just not watching any scripted TV right now. A lot of it can be blamed on the baseball playoffs and the NFL/College Football season. I am sure some of it can be attributed to age – I used to be able to stay up and watch TV until 2 AM, I can’t even come close to that anymore. Some of it is due to just general responsibility as some kids’ dad and some lady’s husband. Turns out clothes don’t wash themselves nor do houses clean themselves nor do lunches get made magically. Although growing up, I could have sworn that all the above was true.

But here is the real reason….is there anything compelling on TV right now? Is there a water cooler show that has to be watched in real-time, or at least that night?

There is only one in my world – The Office. It gets discussed, broken-down, quoted, re-quoted, and misquoted over and over again beginning Friday morning. I went to a party Saturday night and I think I talked about it for an hour. 30 Rock comes close, its fun to talk about that show too, but the urgency isn’t there.

What else is there? Heroes? Do people get all excited to talk about it? Is there a buzz around this show such that every move is documented in the USA Today and online news services the next day? Nope. There are really only a couple of these shows besides the aforementioned workplace situation comedy:

-Dancing with the Stars (reality, no thank you)

-American Idol (ditto, and not on TV yet)

-Lost (please come back soon!)

-24 (lost its way last year, but ye shall have faith)

I only watch the last two, and right now I cannot wait to start breaking down Jack Bauer and finding out what unbelievable, unfathomable, and utterly improbable scene is coming next. Same for Lost – you know if you miss it on Wednesday night you better stay off the internet until you do. USA Today usually leads with Lost information like its real news.

Anyway, all I am trying to say is that I still plan to knock out my current rotation of seven comedies and nine dramas – its just that none of them make me want to come home, put the kids to bed, turn off the computer, and sit down and watch TV.

Here is what I did see this weekend:
-'Til Death' - Haven't stayed awake through an episode yet. Didn't even make it to the second commercial break this week.
-'Curb Your Enthusiam' - Good as usual, always laugh out loud funny, always uncomfortable. I will miss this show when its gone, but I think at this point it has run its course.
-'Mad Men' - I am about 4 shows behind right now (anyone can catch up on AMC On-Demand). I really, really like this show. As I have said before - very stylish, well written, well acted, very interesting. Nothing ever happens really, but this week once Don Draper got busy with what I believe is his first Jewish sexual conquest, he subsequently began to open up to her about his childhood and get in touch with his feelings for the first time. Surprise, Surprise...

Two Offices and 30 Rock

Lets get right to it. I loved this episode of The Office - you know, the one where Ryan was asking Michael to do a PowerPoint presentation and he hadn't yet loaded it onto his laptop. Where Michael taught us all the "Power - POINT", and I can now repeat over and over, "Click the start button, pull up the tool bar (that's what she said)." I even enjoyed the uncomfortable humanization of Michael at his other job, "I wonder what I would have been back home?"...where they lost me was at the Shrute farm. Sorry, I like Dwight as the office nut, and I can only assume his home life is odd. To see it through the eyes of the loving Jim and Pam was filler for me. But give me more Power-POINT, more Daryl and Miss Kapoor, more Scrantonicity II, and more Creed any day of the week....

30 ROCK IS GENIUS
I knew they still had it in them. That whole episode was genius top-to-bottom. What I would like to focus on is one line. One perfect throw away line that shows how clever, how smart, and how awesome this show really is and can be....
First, some history...there is nothing I enjoy more on TV than a little self reflexivity. When a show or actor can make fun of themselves and who they are, or how the show is percieved, within the context of the show. The Simpsons are really good at this, The Family Guy has had its moments (like the Robot Chicken Star Wars parody conversation between Peter and Chris was very well done). The OC characters once met the stars of the show 'The Valley' which was their own parody of their own show -- they were very good at milking the 'Valley' bit. I wish I had more examples off the top of my head -- I will work on it this weekend. But any time an actor mocks a prior performance in a subtle way is good enough for me. I am not sure where to classify this 30 Rock line, but it was just so fast, so simple, and so self aware that I stood up in bed and applauded. OK, I did this in my head - but you get the point.
So what was it? Did you catch it?
When Steve Buschemi (great performance) is asking Jack Donaghy if he has any skeletons in his closet, or relatives with skeletons, he mentions quickly in passing that his cousin Tim got caught fixing NBA games.
Loved it. Genius. Great writing. Great Tracy Morgan this week too.

I also saw that the Big Bang Theory got picked up for a full season -- good luck to them. I have watched all three so far and can tell you for a fact - they are out of material. Good night folks, don't forget to tip your waitress.

TPIR and other thoughts....

Any daytimers out on OP-EDTV land seen the new Price is Right with Drew Carey? I am going to have to TIVO that thing to see whats going on. Do you think they left everything the same including the cheap set and long microphone? Or do you think they gave it the 'Millionaire/Deal' makeover with a dark set, big lights, and loud music? If someone has seen - let us know. We need to know.

I read an article where the author was commenting on how Olberman's show 'Countdown' on MSNBC which one could call the cure for 'The O'Reilly Factor' has been rising in viewers and has either caught up with, or passed, the once untouchable zone with no spin. The author concludes the reason must be the Countdown format - 5 top stories and worst person in the world segment. Yeah...that's the reason people are watching Keith -- the format. No one should ever call the media liberal ever again.

Can someone please tell me what the CW stands for? I don't think they have answered this one yet. Hang on, I am going to google it.....nope - they don't know either. The stock is worth $600+ and they don't know.

Tonight is The Office and 30 Rock. Color me fired up. This is the last 60 minute Office for some time. And hopefully the first funny 30 Rock.

A Week with No Drama

I am sure there have been some good shows this week and I am sure you don't want to hear about how I haven't watched any of them, but its been one of those weeks. Last night I went to bed at 10 for the first time since 9th grade - that was interesting. I have never actually been so awake in the morning that I think I realized I have been using the same razor since 1997. Anyway, Lauren watched Beauty and the Geek last night while I tried to sleep but instead listened to her go - "Oh Wow", "Wow", "Really?" -- yes folks, its that episode, the one where the geeks are transformed into hunks with a decent hair cut, some gel, perhaps some highlights, and more importantly my wardrobe of a decent pair of jeans and a non-tucked in button down. I know, I know, how could anyone else anywhere in America choose to do this to me and wear the same thing. In breaking news, I am not a fashion trendsetter.
I am sure they all came out looking nice because Lauren was talking back to the TV which she never does. We call this a 'Hoffman' - where Lauren thinks I am on the phone but in fact I am talking to either Jack Bauer or the writers of Lost, depending of of course on what I am watching. Do other people do this? I need to know. I like talking to Jack Bauer, I think it helps him. And I like telling the writers of Lost what I think as the show is going. Lauren just thinks I am fucking crazy.
I know a guy who is very close friends with a Lost writer. One time I told that guy to tell the writer something I thought, and then that guy told me that he told his friend and I believe him. Either way, it was a big day. Because I think they need to know that there are actually Lost fans out there that don't take to the internet and rip the show to shreds scene by scene all in the name of 'being a fan'. Please, just sit down and watch the damn show.
If we were all that involved in our shows, then we would be making crazy internet posts like this:
"On last week's Gossip Girl, I am pretty sure that when they were in the hotel elevator, it had buttons going up about 50 floors. But when they show the hotel from the outside, it couldn't have more than 4 floors. MY GOD? Are they in a different hotel, is there a time space continum issue? Did they die and are now in pergatory? We must break this down and start a seperate forum"
Anywho - we did watch How I Met Your Mother on Monday night and Rules of Engagement. I will continue to say this about Rules: Patrick Warburton kills me, I wish his show the Tick had made it, he was even better on that. I also still struggle with the casting of David Spade as the single ladies man.
HIMYM - solid show, better than the tricycle episode, good twist at the end, and I agree with Ted and Barney, Marshall has no game. I should know, I think I am him.

Weekend Rewind

Having spent the WHOLE weekend at a work conference in St. Louis, my total weekend TV time logged was about 2 hours - and all of that was on Sunday night when I got home.
The good news is I couldn't watch the Badgers go down in flames - its easier to deal with on BlackBerry refreshes of ESPN Mobile. The bad news is I missed Adrian Peterson's breakout performance on Sunday. In this case, refreshing on ESPN Mobile doesn't do his work justice. My hotel room TV had a brutal red tint to it, and I was pretty tired (read: drunk) to finish either late baseball game on Friday or Saturday.

For those of you scoring at home, here is what is piling up on the fake-TIVO:
Big Shots (3 episodes)
DirtySexyMoney (3 episodes)
Chuck (3 episodes)
Pushing Daisies (2 episodes)
Las Vegas (3 episodes)
My Name is Earl (4 episodes)
Law and Order SVU (2 episodes)
Sarah Silverman Program (2 episodes)
Womens Murder Club (1 episode)

RE: Womens Murder Club. My trusted reviewers said that as far as TV Murder mystery shows go that are not about collecting forensic evidence - this is the first one in years that didnt star Angela Lansbury or Dick VanDyke, and is also pretty good. I also enjoy the acting stylings of Angie Harmon, so by defualt this show goes on automatic 3 episode probation. Its a Friday show so I figure why not?!?

Friend.SDR told me not to get into Friday Night Lights until I watch the first season. So I plan to knock that out sometime before 2008 is over, then I will move onto season 2. One fear I do have though (as do all fans of FNL) is that its ratings this year can barely top 5 million people. This show (which everyone says is genius, brillitant, awesome, best-on-tv) cannot seem to find an audience and is probably not long for this world. I will place this show in the category with Studio 60, Eyes, and more that can't come to mind right now of shows that were too good for their own good, and for one reason or another, just couldn't get a large enough fan base.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS
I am now mentally checking out everytime Justin and his mom come on screen. "Take the pain meds, I won't take the pain meds, take the pain meds, I won't take the pain meds"....and scene. My god, give me the pain meds. Other than that I didn't enjoy this show at all this week.

GOSSIP GIRL (from Wednesday)
This is still my favorite show in the TIVO right now for some reason - maybe cause its just fun and I ask nothing else from it. Low expectations are the best kind of expectations I guess.
This week, Nate gets taken by some 21 year old hanging out with high school kids and Bair and Serena look hot in expensive outfits while Dan continues to blow the best chance he will ever get with the most popular girl on the upper east side. This show does need to get moving though a bit. I think it might be stuck in neutral.
"We'll see you next week for some continued slow moving plotless action, XOXO Gossip Girl."

THE OFFICE (from Thursday)
My brain is too-fried to remember much, I plan to rewatch it. But here is what I loved:
-Daryl and 'Miss Kapoor's' impending relationship
-The air horn underneath the pelts in the trunk
-The party invite to 'Chat Room', "does the address have a WWW in front of it?"
-The breakdown of the two pizza places by Kevin and Oscar, "one is like eating a garbage circle"
-Stanley dancing to the website
-Ryan's buzzword bingo breakdown of his work, "apples to apples/end of the day/from 30,000 feet"...it was all great stuff
-Angela and Phyllis
and of course....
-Andy's speakerphone version of 'Take a Chance On Me' was pure genius through and through.

Best.show.on.tv

The Office (Weekend Edition)

I am off to St. Louis for a 3 day work conference over the weekend. Uh huh. That's right. It's on the weekend. Business Casual attire required.

I am pretty sure they are having a breakout session in my hotel room on Saturday at 2:30 called "Managing Client Expectations while breaking down Badgers-Penn St". It should be a good one.

I will blog The Office when I return, but would love to hear your comments before you forget...hope it was a good episode, see you on Monday.

Brothers and Sisters Talk

We finished up Sunday's B+S last night. Again, very dramatic - my god they are going to drag out this Justin injury for all its worth I bet. They even threw in the 'is Justin dead' tease at the beginning of the show just for some overkill. What they don't realize is that TVguide or TIVO or whatever you have on-screen already told you in the mini-synopsis that Justin was coming home.

Do you think there is a way to turn off the on-screen program guide? I only want it to tell me what the show is, and if its new. The rest I would prefer to learn for myself. During 24, you could go out like three weeks to see what is generally going to happen. I refuse to try that trick with 'Lost'.

It's good to see Rob Lowe really streching as an actor. If anyone can point out to me anything different between his West Wing/Lyons Den/B+S character besides their names, I would be interested in hearing about it. So really, its just like a watching a Sam Seaborn dates Ally McBeal spin-off. Because really, Calista isn't really doing anything different either other than she can't see a dancing baby this time. I digress.

Terrible news to report....Per TVGuide.com, Chevy Chase has signed on to do a few episodes this year playing an old friend of Nora. I am surprised he was available. I wonder if he will be playing a former funny-man turned angry jackass.

The Tricycle

On a very special 'How I Met Your Mother', Ted and Barney have a championship belt for the man who can have the first tricycle. In French I believe it is called a 2 on 1. You see, they have mostly had bicycles, and Marshall had a unicycle that morning. It was all very clever -- and then the whole thing got really drawn out because Ted kept calling everyone to see what he should do and it got old. Yawn. Did he do it? Most likely, they left us hanging. I am surprised I was able to sleep. In other news, I was told last night I would not be having any tricycles.

On Sunday night we watched the Housewives program which remains on 3 episode probation (copyright Dave Cecchi). It wasn't so bad, but when it comes down to it - I am bored with Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman is bald, Teri Hatcher is so fucking annoying, and as I have said before, Nicolette Sheridan is not for me. That leaves Marcia Cross whose Bree character is great, but the problem is I keep waiting for her to pull off her hair to reveal and evil scar and then accuse Dr. Michael Mancini of trying to kill her. Its just one of those watershed TV moments of your life...one minute you are just sitting in the Towers innocently watching Melrose Place and out of nowhere Dr. Kimberly Clark reappears, back from the dead, to wreak havoc on the beach house. I don't think I got any work done that night.

Also viewed this weekend besides 19 hours of College and NFL football....Gossip Girl episode 3 which just keeps getting better. And what did NOSTRAHOFF tell you about 4 post earlier about Gossip Girl? Lets check....yep, he said at least you know it will last a whole season. And guess what is the first fall show to be picked up for a whole year? No, it's not K-Ville Anthony Anderson fans....its Gossip Girl. Call me 15 and Sally, but I like this show.

One of my many 10's of readers, a fine attorney in downtown Minneapolis, has asked me if I am planning to be reviewing a new MTV show called 'A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila'. I was unfamiliar with this show so I did some research. It turns out MTV has finally decided to merge the bachelor with the bachelorette and found a bi-sexual Hawaiian looking woman on the hunt for the perfect man or woman. Seriously -- what took them so long?
Here is the lovely Tila's bio:
Internet sensation Tila Tequila has clawed and scratched her way to fame. The bisexual beauty made a name for herself, on her own terms, and built a social network of more than 2 million MySpace friends. But getting to where she is today wasn't easy.

Wow, I am sure it wasn't. So no, I will not be watching this show unfortunately. And I am not being arrogant or elitest or even snobby - for shit sakes, I loved Lisa Loeb in '#1 Single' and didn't even spell half the words correctly in this posting -- I just don't think this show is for me. I do however leave the comments section to you fair reader -- if you like it, let us know - you know we're all reading this.

Thursday Ratings

Direct from TVGuide.com....

8 pm/ET
Survivor topped the hour with 14.06 million total viewers, which is on par with last week. Betty bungled 1.25 mil to deliver 9.78 mil. While NBC's Earl (eight mil) dipped 520K, lead-out 30 Rock returned to 7.38 mil, a 53 percent surge from its first-season finale. ("SeinfeldVision" does work!) Smallville (4.56 mil) was down 520 thou.

9 pm
CSI (20.8 mil, down 16 percent from its mondo premiere) again trumped Grey's (18.13 mil, -2.3 mil), albeit not in the key demos. The Office (8.49 mil) lost more than a mil, while Supernatural (2.97 mil) fell short of last season's opener by 800,000.

10 pm
Without a Trace won the race with 14.5 mil, albeit a 13 percent week-to-week drop. ER (8.99 mil) saw a mil check out, yet this week bested ABC's Big Shots, which due to massive second-half tune-out plunged to 8.66 mil.


Personally I hated Seinfeld vision, but 7.5 million turned out for it which is like 20 million to NBC these days...so hopefully they will come back next week when the show should be back to normal.

Must See Thursday

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

TV Tidbits...

Here are some things I am hearing from my insiders over at TVGuide.com. Thought you might find them interesting so I am passing them along - all courtesy of Michael Ausiello:

BROTHERS AND SISTERS:
Steven Weber is coming.....Weber's character, Graham Finch, is a private consultant who is brought in to help expand the Walker family business. And although Sarah is initially resistant to the idea, she ultimately succumbs to his charms.

The rest of his insider info about upcoming shows and casting news can be found here:
http://www.tvguide.com/Ask-Ausiello
He has a lot on Grey's Anatomy and other shows I don't watch.

See you after The Office and 30 Rock.

Gossip Girl

I only watched one show last night - I think I am getting old.
Anyway, it was last weeks Gossip Girl and I like it. Maybe its because Blake Lively is pretty hot, maybe because it reminds me of 'Cruel Intentions' back when Sara M. Gellar was still a young up and comer who didnt get a huge ego, marry Freddy Prinze Jr. and blow off the greatest teen drama of all time for a movie career as Daphne on Scooby Doo or some torture porn whore in an haunted house.... or maybe its because it gave work to Kelly Rutherford who was totally underappreciated as Michael Mancini's hooker turned wife turned ex-wife turned girlfriend of Dr. Peter Burns on Melrose Place circa 1997. But its nice to see her acting again.
I also like this show because its on the CW which means even if only 15 people watch it, its still a hit and primed for a 3 year committment. You don't get that from any other network anymore.
Wouldn't it be nice to see a new show marked 'gauranteed' for at least a season? Then we wouldn' have the problem we had with 'The Nine' and 'Reunion' -- and this is also why I have trouble starting a lot of new shows that are quirky or have bad buzz or bad timeslots. If Brad Childress can still have his job for the rest of the year, then ABC can damn well promise me that Pushing Dasies isn't going to get yanked after 3 weeks. BTW - it starts tonight and I am very excited.

Also, someone asked me in the comments if I watch any shows with 'sexytime'. I haven't watched it yet, but some people are recommending 'Tell Me You Love Me' on HBO which chronicles the lives of three couples as they constantly fight and screw - all of it in your face in screaming hi-def. So, if that is something you might be interested in - you can find it OnDemand.

Sitcom Monday

As of now, the regular Monday lineup is going to include 3 CBS comedies and Chuck on NBC. 24 we will back back in the winter and by then I will down to 1 or 2 CBS comedies and Chuck will be long cancelled. But for now, this is how I am going to roll. I don't do Hereos - got to the table too late on that one, and to be frank, I am all sci-fied out right now.

Watching CBS is funny, because besides 90 minutes on Monday, I watch nothing else on this network. But from what I can tell, during any given week, there are at least 5 murdered prostitues, 3 missing kids, 2 battered spouses, and 1 child molestor all being hunted down by some combination of David Caruso, William Peterson, Mandy Patinkin (for now), Gary Sinise, and Mark Harmon. Couldn't they just make one show out of this? Like the Justice League?

Anyway, on to the night that was:

CHUCK - on the DVR schedule for tonight along with last weeks Gossip Girl and Dirty/Sexy/Money. At this point, all three Law and Orders are going to take a backseat until the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Years break. Check back to the blog in December for nothing but Mariska Hargitay and Vince Denafrio breakdowns.

How I Met Your Mother - good as always, nothing special...I enjoy this show because as far as I am concerned, no other show has come close to HIMYM when it comes to showing the reality of life in your 20's -- except the bachelor party episode last year which was just stupid. Doogie Howser can do no wrong - Barney has got to be one of the better characters to come along in the last few years. Also, Ted's rant last night about how he would do anything to get laid, but he would NEVER GO TO NEW JERSEY was outstanding. I am sure my Manhattan readership loved that scene.

Big Bang Theory - I am opening this one up to the comment section. If you watched it, let me know what you think...I don't have an opinion yet. Seems like a one-joke pony to me.

Rules of Engagement - Pretty much anything Puddy says is funny to me.
Spade: "Did you wash your hands?"
Puddy: "Sign said employees must"
I don't even mind David Spade on this show. I could take or leave Oliver Hudson, but I can tell you that most of the acting talent in that family went to his sister. Last night Heather Locklear made a guest appearance. All women should look that good when they are 65.

Tonight is make or break on Beauty and Geek - that show has been very good for three seasons but the freshness rating is quickly expiring.
I am also getting excited for PUSHING DASIES tomorrow night - every critic seems to love it and the buzz is great, so I am hoping it is excellent. I hear its a bit quirky and maybe an acquired taste, but I am excited for some originality.

Sapster Night

First things first -- I updated the comments section so that anyone can post a comment. I didn't realize it was forcing you to register - that's stupid. So please feel free to provide your own opinions as well, this should not be a one-way street.

So Sunday night's are back. Thanks to a terrible, terrible Sunday night football game we sat down to the usual Sunday lineup a little earlier than usual. 15 loads of laundry goes perfectly with Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters.

We've decided to give DH three weeks to turn it around since last year was so bad following on a year that can only be described as even worse. The minute Lynette got out of bed with a bald head, I knew this was going to be a lot more serious and a lot less fun. Fun and campy was the whole point of why the show was great in year 1. The good news is, it was actually a pretty funny episode and that bodes well for experimental weeks 2 and 3. The bad news is, we have a possible molestation storyline on the horizon (again) and I am really sick of Carlos and Edie. I can see why Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton seem to be perfect for each other.

Let me ask you this question about B+S? How good at driving are the Walkers? I can only assume each Walker drove seperately to the restaurant. I counted at least 2-3 Tequila shots per Walker (that they actually showed), and when the dinner didn't work out (they were all drinking on empty stomachs), they immediately headed back to the Walker house. What's more interesting is that they were stone sober when they got back -- so yeah, I guess storyline continuity isn't going to matter this year.

Anyway - I like this show. It's very sappy, very soapy, way overacted and very emotional to the point of being ridiculous...but its good. I have no logic to explain it, its just good. I will say this though - another season of the same old 'what else can go wrong to us' might become tiresome. We'll have to see. For now, I am still in.

Capped off the evening the only way any good night should end -- with some very solid, smart comedy. Larry David is a genius. A lot of people get frustrated by him, and I see that. But all I know is that he and Seinfeld point out the comedy and frustrations among the daily mundane, and Larry is still doing it brilliantly. Until last night, I never noticed that I cannot hold the phone to my 'other' ear, it just doesn't work. Surround that with some serious concerns about bathroom frequency and some classic Suzie and it was a great way to finish off the weekend.

Pretty excited to see if Chuck can keep it up (I liked the premiere) and I am also enjoying HIMYM as always.

Initial Office Ratings and News

With 24.9 million viewers, CSI outperformed its 2006 opener by some 13 percent and in doing so trumped Grey's Anatomy, which returned to an audience of 20.5 mil (down from last fall's 25.15 mil). The Office (9.67 mil) improved on its previous premiere by 670 thou.

NBC has greenlighted a two-hour TV-movie of Knight Rider which could serve as a backdoor pilot for a new series. Variety reports that the plan is to air the flick later this season, and if successful, have a new series ready for fall 2008.
The vision for this redo is to take advantage of current TV special effects to allow K.I.T.T. some Transformers-esque shapeshifting.

Project Runway is back on November 14th. Lauren likes that one.

(TVGUIDE.com)

At Least it was only Merideth...Thank God

I have been waiting for a new episode of ‘The Office’ for so long now that I am pretty sure they could have just filmed them eating lunch and I would have found it hysterical. So I am not sure if my opinion today is skewed or not, but either way – I loved it.

Personal highlights include:

-Michael’s announcement regarding Merideth’s accident and who hit her

-I don't think you understand Jeopardy... I'm sorry... What is "we're fine"

-Kevin

-Stanley

-Creed

-Pam walking in on Michael changing

-“I didn’t see the beginning but I saw where it ended”

-5K = 5000 miles

-Andy’s nipple protectors which didn’t work so well by the end

-Religious beliefs breakdown

This show can really do no wrong for me these days. Count me one of the few million who are very happy to have it back on the air. If you didn’t see the summer vacation interviews which aired at the end of last weeks re-run, I am pretty sure its on YouTube somewhere.

We are in the glory days of single-camera sitcoms and I for one am glad to be a part of it. Once 30 Rock and Scrubs comes back, NBC Thursday night will be officially legitimate for the first time since the late 80’s/early 90’s. Think about it…when was the last time all 4 comedies were great – all four of them? For every Friends and Seinfeld and Night Court and Cheers and Cosby and Family Ties, there was a Single Guy, Veronicas Closet, Suddenly Susan, the one where the four guys lived together with Seth Green, the one with the Brecken Meyer who constantly had sports highlights playing in his head, Union Square, and the list goes on. Fact is, from Earl through 30 Rock – this could be the most creative, clever, smart, and FUNNY group of sitcoms in history. Good times all around.

One last thought on the Office, and here is what I didn’t love so much - when they extended to 40 minute super-sized episodes last year, it felt a little forced at times. When they do 30 minutes, it always leaves you wanting more. But a full 60 minutes made it seem just a bit too long with certain scenes dragging out just enough to make me notice – and that’s not good. Not that I won’t take an hour, trust me, I will. I’m just saying that there is something about containing that show to 30 minutes that makes it perfect.

I didn’t get around to Earl, DirtySexyMoney, Big Shots, Mad Men, or Gossip Girl yet. The pressure is getting to me I think.

Final notes for the weekend – I highly recommend Mad Men on AMC if you are not watching that – all episodes are available On-Demand. This show is so smart, so interesting, and so well filmed and edited. It is about the Ad Agency business in New York in the early 1960’s and I find it pretty fascinating. The acting is top notch and the historical references and male-female interactions are very fun to watch. Of course it’s no WW2 documentary, but it is not a bad look at office workplace dynamics during the time. Try it.

Please note, as stated in earlier posts, there will be no breakdown of any medical dramas or dramadies here. Only Scrubs which I believe still qualifies as a sitcom. I also do not watch Reality TV (except Beauty and the Geek which is quickly dying for me). If you need a recap of The Hills, Rob and Big, Newport Beach, Two-a-Days or any other MTV/VH1 show, I have a couple of friends who collectively hit them all – I will see if they can’t get something going in the comments sections for you.

First Thoughts on Fall

I wouldn't come back here and expect recaps from the night before. That's not going to happen so much. And Lauren and I get behind too - we have a lot to get through each week, and since we start at about 10:00 PM and try to actually get sleep too, sometimes shows have to wait. Like take Tuesday night for instance - at about 11:45 I wanted to start 'Bones'. I have only been anticipating this premiere for 4 months, but Lauren gave me the no-go. Too late, and she doesn't like this show either by the way. And she is wrong.
So I watched Bones last night without her and let me tell you - strong start. I love this show, its really the only palatable crime procedural for me. Granted last night even stepped over the edge a bit, but at least the show doesn't take itself seriously. And that is why its great - the story lines are little more than weekly MacGuffins to give us a chance to enjoy wity banter amongst the squints. Hart Hanson writes a great show and I highly recommend Bones on (Tuesday nights now) which leads into House. Regarding 'House' - Don't watch it, don't need it. I am on medical drama hiatus for at least 5 more years.

We did some comedies last night - trying to figure out if this 'Back to You' Kelsey Grammer/Patricia Heaton show is going to fly. Well, I laughed out loud at least twice. Its written and directed by all the Cheers/Fraiser folks and they know what they are doing for the most part. Its a classic office sitcom with laughtrack/possible live studio audience and for now its working for me - mostly because Grammer plays Fraiser and I enjoy that. Does he play anything else really? I think my point is, for 22 minutes its not a total waste of time and the laughs are there. Also Fred Willard is in this show - and I don't really need to add anything to that. He alone is good for 2 laughs.
We followed it up with 'Til Death' which I am going public with for the first time. We watch it, we like it, I laugh at it. Everyone has this show...you know, the one that you shouldn't like. I think the industry calls that a 'guilty pleasure'. Well we watch it, and every week I tell Lauren that its going to suck and then it doesn't. Perhaps its because I can relate to the show seeing as how its about newlyweds living across the street from your classic 'old married couple'. I think I live somewhere in the street between the two - so I get the jokes. Ha ha. This is the first time I have spent any time with Brad Garrett as I have actually never seen one episode of Raymond. He's pretty funny. And a lot taller than I am.

I didn't get a chance yet to fire up week 2 of Gossip Girl last night, but I liked the first episode. A friend told me it was so-so, therefore I am lowering expectations going in. But I like Josh Schwartz shows -- we also liked Chuck on Monday night (more on that next week). But tonight is the return of The Office along with about 10 other shows from Monday - Wednesday I still have to get to. This is a hard job.

One final thought on Gossip Girl. I am in my 30's now...when do I have to quit watching high school dramas? Will I be watching them with my kids? As long as they keep cranking them out every 3-4 years, I'll get in. More importantly, when someone on 90210 drank or looked at pot or considered sex, it was a 'very special episode'. By the time the OC came around, it was ho-hum. In Gossip Girl they are all just walking around screwing and getting high on their way to and from school. By the time my kids get into this stuff I just assume it will be like porn.

Welcome to Ed's Op-Ed on TV, or OP-EDTV

I watch a lot of TV. It's true. I have a lot of opinions. Also true. And I used to like to write a lot, so I figure this trifecta could only mean one thing -- write a blog about what I am watching on TV to my zero adoring fans who have been begging for me to get online and provide some solid entertainment for up to 2 minutes at a time.

I also plan to update you (meaning no one) on whats coming to a TV set near you, or what is most likely going to disappear. I will be poaching most of my news from Michael Ausiello, Robert Bianco, Matt Roush, and Matt Webb Mitovitch -- the kings of worthless TV inside information - but I cannot get enough. If Ken Burns did 14 hours on how these guys get the latest casting news - I would be all in for that.

Speaking of Ken Burns, lets start there. I officially deleted the first 8 hours of 'The War' from FakeTivo #2 last night - unwatched. Its not that I don't care about WW2, I do. I am actually fascinated by it -- but the timing is awful. Its frickin premiere week. Could we not have saved this for December? or early January? Classic PBS arrogance. I think I am going to just have to do this one on DVD. By recording this show in HiDef I was burning muchas percent of DVR space and I have about 100 shows I am trying out right now. And here is one thing I do know -- 6 months from now I can get 'The War' from BlockBuster but I would hard pressed to find the first four episodes of 'DirtySexyMoney' after that show gets buried before November sweeps.

Let me say this about my OP-EDTV... there are a lot of websites out there breaking down TV in a very snarky fasion:
SNARK, noun
Combination of "snide" and "remark". Sarcastic comment(s).
Also snarky (adj.) and snarkily (adv.)

I am not going to do that. I am just going to tell you what I watched. And then you can read it if you want. And again by 'you' I mean no one. But its cathartic for me...and thats really all that counts.

P.S. As I type this, a new version of Sugar's 'If I Can't Change Your Mind' just came on Pandora. Holy Crap - its from Train and it sucks. Why would they do this to such a great song? And the worst part...since Train is mainstream famous and Bob Mould isn't, this song will be a hit for them and no one will ever know how good it really should be. Frickin Train. Also - support Pandora and internet radio.