Thursday Night Recap

I will let it speak for itself...

Michael Scott: You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is part of what makes this branch extraordinary. The blusy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, the smile, those big watery red eyes. I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left

Oscar: Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.

Michael Scott: Yeah. We all want money. But there is none in the budget. So. Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that.

Dwight Schrute: I think I cut my penis on the lid!

Dwight Schrute: The eyes are the groin of the head.

Rants from a Thursday Post-Lunch Food Coma

I turned on NBC’s Phenomenon last night but got confused – where is John Travolta and Forrest Whitaker?

Brothers and Sisters is quickly becoming a fast-forward show for me. I get it, I get it – predictable drama, banter-banter, lets move on. I am one episode behind, and Calista Flockhart might be pregnant per the previews for this week – I can’t believe I was able to go to bed with all the tension mounting.

Someone mentioned to me that Curb Your Enthusiasm is beginning to feel like a Seinfeld rerun at this point. Like they know they’ve seen it before and plots are becoming oddly familiar. I’ll be honest, I don’t see – but I was intrigued by the theory. Here is another theory for you to ponder:

Seinfeld enthusiast Scott R. of Wayzata believes that Seinfeld reruns are cut up so that the primary and secondary stories are mixed to keep episodes interesting. Of course Scott R. is just kidding, but how many times have you found yourself saying, “I didn’t realize THAT happened in this episode too..”

No 30 Rock this evening. You see, Sweeps Month starts tonight and that means NBC has to fake its way through the next 30 days in order to show advertisers that their viewership is higher than it really is so they can sell ad space at a higher rate.

I don’t have a lot of inside baseball on this process, but I know some of my readers do, so any comments on this would be great. Basically, I don’t get how a network can show (for example) a Victoria’s Secret Strip show in place of the usual Ghost Whisperer and then claim that 30 million people watch CBS on Friday night therefore the rates can be higher – who is fooled by this? If I am Proctor and Gamble and I want to buy space for 30 Rock, I am just going to look at the average audience size for my demographic across the whole year and decide what its worth – call me an advertising major from UW-Madison who got an A in Don Stoffles class on advertising demographics, but it seems pretty obvious.

That being said, most of the country is pretty stupid and can relate better to Earl, so he gets an hour while Jack Donaghy and his Emmy for best comedy sit this one out.

The writers might go on strike tomorrow – this is what I am calling BLACK FRIDAY. If they shut down, we are all screwed. What are we supposed to do? Oh yeah, live sports, re-runs, and we’ll only have tons and tons of shows on DVD we’ve never seen, shows from the past we never caught now out on DVD, and non-scripted programming for the 7 remaining reality TV fans--- what will we do?

There is also a 90% chance that old scripts once discarded and TV pilots burned off might make their way into your living rooms soon. Now that will be the real disaster. But in my house, as long as DJ Lance with the cast of Yo Gabba Gabba and the Higglytown Heroes don’t go on strike, we’ll be fine.

Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect

Seriously, this season of How I Met Your Mother has been outstanding. Marshall being seduced by a potential employer and the porn convention episode this past week featuring ‘the other Ted Mosby’ was excellent. Even all the double entendres were well played. If you are not watching this show, perhaps you should be. It is 22 minutes a week of solid 20/30-something entertainment. You have 22 minutes don’t you? Find it.

We have been talking a lot on this blog – and by we I mean me – about great self reflexive moments in television. This year alone we have had Carrie Fisher busting out Star Wars lines, and Jack Donaghy talking about his cousin Tim. And now comes this past week’s episode of Las Vegas. Now that Tom Selleck is running the Montecito, it only made sense that when his poker buddies showed up for the weekend that it would be his old castmates from Magnum. To make matters even more entertaining, the back story of how they made their money was selling a helicopter company. BAM. Good times.

I said I was done reviewing Rules of Engagement because it’s always the same. Well this week was no exception. I love Patrick Warburton, and his drunk rendition of ‘Get Into My Car’ was too good. As was the line:

“I can’t help it, she downloaded these ringtones into my phone”

“Well, see if you can download some nads into your pants”

More later…

NBC.com presents: How to Not Do Work Today

So I went their website today to see if I could watch me some Jack Donaghy highlights from last night. Low and behold, the brass at the Peacock were already well aware of the genius that was Tracy Jordan's therapy session and wrapped it up in a nice two minute video for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/#mea=172124

While you are there, feel free to check out the 35 other 2 minute 30 Rock clips they have thrown together...including an awesomely akward and just slightly explotative video of Cherie trying on halloween costomes for Kenneth - made especially for the website. When your ratings are in the can and your network is fighting to be relevant, that's when the real creativity comes out. Here is to hoping they never get back to #1.

Break Me Off a Piece of That.....

As good as it gets I think. Write down the date somewhere.
The Office and 30 Rock gave their two best performances of the year last night. I didn't get to Scrubs yet and I am sure Earl was very creative or something like that, but all in all, this is by far the best Must-See Comedy lineup across the board ever.
Somewhere Jonathan Silverman, Breckin Meyer, Brooke Shields, Kirsty Alley, Christina Applegate and 100 other brutal excuses for Thursday sitcom stars are wondering what went wrong. Although kudos to Applegate for getting her show picked up for the whole year by ABC - I won't be watching it, I prefer my Christina Applegate young, dumb, slutty, and poor - and I plan to keep it that way.

THE OFFICE
"We don't want to waste your time Michael"
"Don't worry, I don't get paid by the hour. I get paid by the year"

Throw that in with Dwight Shelman's second-second life, break me off a piece of that , Michael shouting out 'Light it Up Phyllis!', Darryl and team's awesome song/harmony, Michael's final commerical (with Kelly in India and Stanley as a prisoner) and it was just awesome. Awesome.

30 ROCK
I am getting to old to remember lines from all these shows, but this episode deserves a second look (and maybe a 3rd). All I am going to say is that if you didn't respect Alec Baldwin's work before this episode...well, I don't think it gets any better than Jack Donaghy helping Tracy with his daddy issues. Oh.My.God.

I have been told I missed some old Star Wars lines from guest-star Carrie Fisher like 'Save me Liz Lemon, you are my only hope' - which is funny because I just ranted to you earlier this week about how much I love that self reflexivity crap. Huh, looks like I was too caught up in everything else to even notice. That is how well done 30 Rock is. GE Followship Award..good stuff.

America is Sick...

Seriously, I watched the first three SVU episodes this season and I am offically disgusted. Maybe it is because my kids are a little older and I feel vulnerable as a parent, or maybe its that I am getting older and my tastes are changing, but suddenly sitting down to a 60 minute rape/incest/molestation/beating/torture/muder isn't doing it for me anymore. Everytime its over I just want to cry or re-enact the Jim Carey shower scene from Ace Ventura (which he pulled from the movie where that chick turns out to be a dude).

And here is the worst part - and don't worry America I am not judging you - ok, I am. But if you take this show, and throw in Numbers, Criminal Minds, and at least 2 of the remaining CSI-type shows each week - they all do boffo ratings, and they are all gross murders. Why is this so appealing to us? I am no shrink, but maybe we enjoy it because the crime is always solved and the bad guy always goes down -- but honestly, the killings get worse and more graphic every week.
I read an article which says from the censors standpoint, you can show more skin on TV with a dead woman than a live one - -and that is why a lot of these shows go with the half-naked prostitute corpse routine -- its sexy television. Wha? Excuse me why I hurl.

Moving on....

Gossip Girl. First three episodes great. Last three episodes S.L.O.Wwwwwww. Let's get a move on folks....
I am hearing the same thing for Reaper - I have them all TIVO'd, but every review says it lost steam after the first episode and its very boring. So at this time, Reaper is on hold.
'Back to You' got picked up for the whole season, so now Kelsey Grammer can afford to crash another six figure sports car into a wall.
'Big Bang Theory' officially sucks. As predicted, the same joke is played for yucks over and over and over again. But you know who finds this show funny? The laughtrack. I saw an episode that went down the double entandre path of 'sticking your bow in my cello' and 'I love your fingering'...are we really doing that on CBS? The home of Murder She Wrote?
'HIMYM" was solid again this week. We learned about the scale Barney uses to judge women on their crazy vs. hot quotient. That was very well played. He named his crazy scale after a girl named Mendoza - I thought that was funny and explained it to Lauren. She almost found it clever.
'Rules of Engagement' - I am not going to review this show anymore. Here is my final review and it goes for all episodes going forward:
David Spade as the single guy who gets all the chicks: still not buying it.
Oliver Hudson and the chick that plays his fiance: neither can act or have comic timing.
Patrick Warburton: one of the best sitcom actors of our time hands down -- can deliver even the dumbest line and make it sound funny. He kills me.

OFFICE TONIGHT AND THE RETURN OF SCRUBS!!!!!

3 Episode Waiting Period

With the advent of the Tivo/FauxVo/DVR comes the concept of waiting on high-concept shows. Waiting to see if they find an audience, waiting to see if they find a creative direction, and waiting to see whether or not the show is a go. If you were like me, then you got burned on 'Eyes', 'Reunion', and 'The Nine' in recent years. All three were good shows, all three had serious potential, and all three were yanked before they made it to Thanksgiving. WTF?
Remember 'Emily's Reasons Why Not'? Do you? One episode last year and it got the hook. I just don't get how a network can put in all that time and effort and money and give a show less than a month to find its way. Cheers was the lowest rated TV show on the Neilsons after its first year. Seinfeld was basically cancelled and sent to burn-off over the summer before people found it. Sometimes I wish they would just wait and see. The money has been spent and the marketing effort put forth - just relax and let it play out. Kind of like the Vikings with Tavaris Jackson -- ok, bad example.
Enter DVR and the '3 Episode Rule'. Just let them collect, see how it goes with the critics, ratings, and word of mouth - and if it makes it to four shows, then enjoy your mini- marathon!!! Good times for all.
Why do I bring this up now? CBS cancelled Viva Laughlin after 2 episodes in different time slots. High concept? Yes. Silly premise? Yes. But did you even give it a chance to catch on? No.